an ancient chinese story

26

When the fire had broken out, Jing Yi had been crushed by the pillar , but fortunately the old man had been able to save him. Because of Jing Yi's critical condition, the old man had taken Jing Yi to his temporary residence in the capital. Though the old man had not held onto any of his wealth after leaving the capital, he had always been welcomed back by his well-wishers. With the help he had in the capital, he had been able to save jing yi.

The old man had understood the fire to be an assasination attempt. So he had remained quiet about jing yi's survival until feng leng arrived. When jing yi had woken up after 2 days, jing yi had been able to process the situation. The pain from the burns had been unbearable for him then. When the old man had talked to Jing Yi about what had happened to him in the fire, Jing Yi had rushed to see his reflection.

Despite the old man's suggestion not to, jing yi had seen his reflection. Half his face and half his upper body had been bandaged. When the old man told jing yi about feng leng's return, jing yi begged the man to not let feng leng know about him. Jing yi was afraid. He was never too keen on his looks but everytime he saw his face, he remembered how feng leng used to adore him for it. How possessive he was for him, for his beauty. He remembered how Feng leng had confessed about how he had fallen for jing yi at first sight. How he had looked so beautiful to him. All the time spent with feng leng, jing yi only remembered how feng leng told him how beautiful he was. And how he was only his.

Every thought of feng leng only weighed jing yi down. The more he thought, the more confidence he lost in himself.

As days went by, Jing Yi's condition worsened. Along with the pain jing yi felt nauseated. Morning sickness was rough and his appetite seemed to fluctuate. The old man had been taking more care of jing yi and serving tonics and recommending him rest.

As days grew, the burns had healed. Though Jing Yi dreaded seeing himself without the bandages, he wished to face the reality. So that day all bandages came off, jing yi saw himself staring back at him. the burn scars covered a quarter of his face, starting from the mid section of his right eye to his upper right cheek . along with a part of his right ear, some areas around his ear had been burned, leaving a small part bald . Looking down on himself, he saw where more of the damage had been done. His right shoulder and some part of his chest were burned badly. Even to him, he looked hideous. He couldn't stare any longer.

He had at times thought of returning to feng leng but the hopes died when he saw himself . He had truly become an abomination like his father had always said. Maybe his father had been right all along. Maybe he really was a bad luck charm. So, after some thought , he felt it was better to leave the capital and stay away from feng leng. With his current self, he couldn't return back to feng leng and face the rejection he dreaded. Maybe it was better to be dead for fengleng, jing yi still wanted to remain loved by feng leng. He didn't want fengleng to hurt.

The old man had taken jing yi to his previous house when they left the capital. When a few weeks went by, Jing Yi had almost fully recovered, physically. But mentally , jing yi was deteriorating day by day . his mind was consumed by his fathers words and it was eating him away. it was evident , jing yi had started to hate himself.

One day , when the old man came back from cutting wood, he saw jing yi unconscious, laying on the floor with blood profusely running out of his cut wrist. As the old man had arrived and treated the wound quickly, jing yi was saved from death, again.

The old man couldn't keep quiet any longer. So not wanting to see jing yi hurt himself anymore and take more care of his body, the old man told jing yi about his pregnancy. The old man had already guessed it back when jing yi had vomiting tendencies in the capital but now as the signs were clearer, the old man was sure. But he never disclosed it to Jing Yi. he wasnt sure jing yi was mentally stable enough. But now that the boy saw no purpose in his life anymore, the old man told Jing Yi the truth.