🌻Chapter 46

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PRESENT
🌻

When Gulf opened the door, the powerful aroma of coffee came to him.

AA was preparing coffee on the dining table.

"Do you take milk or sugar?"

"Just milk, thank you...." Gulf was surprised at this development, which was not exactly what he had imagined.

"Please, have a seat."

Gulf sat in the place AA indicated, but he couldn't relax. For Gulf, AA was the same man he had been eight years ago.

"You seem not to like me."

"No, it's not----"

Gulf hurried to deny AA's observation, which seemed to have pierced straight into his heart. But Gulf swallowed the rest of his words at the sight of the expression on AA's face.

"When I look into your face, it seems as if nothing at all has changed in these past eight years. But when I see your suit, I am strongly aware of the passage of time."

"What was it you wanted to talk about?" Gulf asked, pressing his hands against his knees. He wasn't about to spend his time reminiscing with this guy. "Are you going to tell me to stay away from Mew again? Or did you come to tell me to break up with him?"

Gulf's chest tightened at the self-pity in his voice.

After a brief pause, AA answered, his voice as deep as ever. "And if I did? Could you manage to stay away from him?"

It sank in slowly in the depths of Gulf's heart. Gulf held his breath for a moment and clenched his hands on top of his knees. It was only natural that since their reunion, Gulf had wanted to see Mew everyday. Their desire was so strong that he wondered how he had survived their time apart.

Of course Gulf wasn't blind to the fact that Mew was sleeping with him without affection. He felt the hallowness of that. But it didn't matter, because he wanted so deeply to see him.

It was true that he hesitated when Mew called him out to satisfy his lust. But it allowed him to see Mew, and that couldn't help but make Gulf happy.

But if for some reason Gulf couldn't see Mew anymore---just thinking about it sent a chill down his spine. He wouldn't be able to bear being torn away from him again without a concrete reason.

Mew's declaration that Gulf's body belonged to him was, for Gulf, the best excuse imaginable to keep seeing Mew.

"Eight years ago..."

Gulf looked up in surprise. Why was AA deliberately touching on the taboo subject of the past?

"Have you heard what happened after you left Master Mew?"

"No..."

When they'd first gotten back together, they had talked about their classmates. They had never once, in all the time since then, talked about themselves.

"He did quite reckless things. Presumably to drive from his mind the loneliness and emptiness he felt at not being able to see you. He was utterly composed on the surface, but I believe that he was experiencing unimaginable anger. He went on for many years throwing himself into trouble, as if he had a death wish."

Gulf remembered the reports of gang warfare on TV and he shuddered. "Was he hurt?"

"A certain amount of injury was only to be expected. But he never suffered anything life-threatening, no. That was because his subordinates protected him, even at the cost of their own lives."

Gulf believed that people could have lost their lives at that time.

"I asked Masrer Mew only once why he was doing such reckless things. I told him the truth, hoping that it would help him to put himself back together. I told him that what had happened had been my idea. And he told me that he knew."

Mew had known all along.

"In the end, Master Mew was upset by the fact that you needed to distance yourself from him in order to protect yourself. He seemed to believe that he needed to become his own man, and strong. And then, if he was ever able to see you again, perhaps..."

Gulf waited for him to continue. AA saw Gulf's expression and his eyes became gentle. Gulf's eyes widened at this smile, which he never would have imagined seeing eight years ago. AA caught himself and quickly gave a sardonic chuckle, pushing the bridge of his glasses back.

"I want to tell you right now that I do not consider my decision to have been a mistake. I believe it was the correct choice."

"Mister AA..."

"And I see great importance in the fact that Master Mew himself realized that. In fact, it is becasue the induction ceremony proceeded smoothly that Master Mew is who he is today. That the Koryu Alliance is what it is today. At the time, Master Mew was more important to the Alliance than his own happiness was to him. My highest priority was protecting him, required by my debt to his father for fostering me. Once it was over, people recognized Master Mew's position as the heir to our powerful family."

Whatever else Gulf could say about him, AA had not tried to sever Gulf and Mew's relationship without good reason. Now that he was an adult, he understood that.

But at the time, Gulf and Mew had only been able to think about themselves. They were convinced that they needed to hold onto the happiness that was right in front of them. They couldn't imagine that any greater happiness might exist. They had never thought that their happiness would have consequences or that it might make someone else unhappy.

But even if they had managed to stand against all the people there, they could never have been happy. AA had made himself the bad guy, and preserved the balance.

Gulf was no longer bitter about the choice AA had made. Maybe Mew wasn't either. On the contrary, now that they had been brought back together like this, Gulf was grateful.

"But neither you nor Master Mew are children who require a guardian any longer. Since the induction ceremony was completed, Master Mew has ceased to be a child I must protect and is instead a master I must serve. You should drink your coffee. It's getting cold."

"Oh, thank you."

Gulf tasted the coffee that AA had brewed. A faintly bitter taste spread through his mouth, and he felt his body waking up. But it wasn't due solely to the bitterness of the coffee, the bitterness of reality also contributed.

"I believe you understand to some extent the sort of life that Master Mew leads."

Gulf gazed down at the trembling surface of the coffee inside his cup.

He didn't have enough information to agree, but he wasn't so ignorant that he would try to deny it. He understood at least how the average citizen perceived them---that is, the yakuza organization.

"Therefore, if you decide of your own will to be with Master Mew, I have no intention of stopping you. But if you are not with him willingly, I will obey Master Mew's order without queation."

Just like before, AA had come to make Gulf face reality, but this time there was nothing to distinguish that reality from a dream.

TBC

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