Thirty

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Minutes after we come downstairs to eat, I play with the cereal in my bowl, spinning the colourful brunch before raising a spoonful of it to my lips. Brandon chuckles at my sulking, I frown, how can he be so cool with leaving me here? He will be gone for a week. The thought makes my stomach knot, I stab the cereal and nearly chew the spoon off.

Brandon pries the spoon off my hand, I don’t realise my cheeks are wet with tears until he swipes at them. I sigh, it must be my period, I am being unusually emotional and over stupid things. He pulls me to his laps, I tuck my head into the crook of his neck and bawl my eyes out while he strokes my back until my cries quiet to sobs. I want him to stay.

The massaging of my scalp causes me to moan. “If you didn’t have school, we would have gone together, you know that, right? But your studies come first,” he murmurs.

My voice comes out muffled when I say, “I hate school.”

He chuckles. “No, you don’t.”

A giggle escapes me, I sit up and he wipes the residue tears on my cheeks with the back of his hand. “No, I don’t. But I wish I was done so I could go with you everywhere.”

His thumb caresses my lips, he smiles at me and twirls the strand of hair I left out on the sides from my double cornrows. “In less than a year, you will be done and we can tour the world together.” He chuckles as if in on a private joke. “Well, not tour the world but we can travel together. It’s business related so you will be of much help. Cheer up.”

Scattering kisses on his neck, I nod in his embrace, I will be done in less than a year and I can do whatever I want. The thought makes me happy and sad at the same time, I have built relationships with some of the best people on earth in that school, it will be odd knowing I won’t see them as much anymore. I let out a soft sigh, but it’s all for the best, life is always about growth, I am ready for the next stage. If I am not, I will be by then.

“You won’t stay more than a week,” I command.

Things are going on fine for him, while his inventions have taken a backseat for the extension of his hotel in Paris, he has gotten new investors to work with. I am excited about his achievements but it’s taking my husband far away from home, from me. I don’t know how to deal with that. Sinking my teeth into my lower lip, I wonder if I am not becoming dependent on him, not financially but emotionally. I have been called cold and a bit closed off but none of those people know how hard it is trying to live my life.

Emotions are not always helpful when trying to achieve goals, it’s why I stayed away from them. It was also hard to find a man who loved the idea of celibacy like I did. With Brandon, my emotions are all over the place and I am yet to decide if that’s a good sign.

Brandon pulls my lower lip between his teeth, his fingers linger on the waistband of my jean. “If it was up to me,” he murmurs into my lips, “ I won’t stay more than a day.”

Pecking him on the lips, I wiggle on his laps and manage to whisper, “I know.”

“Are you seeing Clarissa today?”

Thankful for the change of subject, I nod, she doesn’t know I’m coming into the café she works at yet. That way, she can’t slam the door in my face, she is more dramatic than I am. My heart constricts as memories wash over me, I giggle, I miss that tiny, Asian lady. I would have gotten a smack on the head for using tiny in the same sentence with her.

“Do you want to meet her?” I ask him.

His brows furrow, seconds pass and his head sways as if he is considering it. “I have to get to the office first, once that’s done, I will come. Is four good? My flight is by five.” He spares a look at his wristwatch and helps me to my feet. “I have to get to the office now.”

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