Cruelly Fated - Book 4

Chapter 27 - Heartbreak & Fury

Jasmine's POV

Standing at the altar, I stare down at the piece of paper in my hands. I can't control the erratic shake my body has developed. Despite all my efforts last night, I only managed to get two words written by my brother. Sweeping my eyes around the church, I battle my muted state but fail to deliver a eulogy. The sympathetic glances break me, and the silence is deafening. The only sounds heard are my shuffling feet and heavy breathing. Most who are here today didn't even know the man my brother indeed was. They met him broken, defeated, and in a dark place. How can any one of them understand my loss when I can paint the image of the hero I knew. I revert my eyes to the piece of paper and continue to stain it with fresh tears. "Lord help me. What am I supposed to say?" I voice my thoughts as if no one is around.

A gentle touch runs down my arm, providing comfort. I know it's Mina, but I'm surprised I didn't hear her approach. Meeting her eyes, she meekly smiles and tangles her fingers with mine. Sucking in a breath, she speaks, giving me a few moments to compose myself, "Death isn't the greatest of all evils, not for you that has left us behind. For death is your freedom and the beginning of immortality. Your soul eternal." Evicting the clog in her throat, she squeezes my hand and continues, "We are the ones that feel emptiness and grieve your loss. Now, the memories are our only solace, and what you have left behind is woven within our hearts. This isn't goodbye, Matt; we will meet again."

Blowing a breath, I wipe my tears and attempt this again. Only to halt as I watch Summer stand on her shaky legs and walk towards me. She's such a brave girl and teaching me a thing or two. Coming to the other side of me, she takes my hand into hers. Keeping her head lowered, Summer relays something her father kept sayings. They are words in my grief that I have forgotten. "Daddy wanted us happy. 'Look up and smile; the sun is shining.'" Her quivering lip shatters my soul, and I cling to sanity. "I'm sad but smile because I love you," she tries and fights the tears away.

I glance around as my heart beats with anguish. I meet Stefano's eyes, and concern consumes him. My vision blurs as I fixate on my now-husband. When my brother was missing, Stefano was my light. Now surrounding him are shadows drowning out that very light I would find comfort. Shaking my head, I finally find my voice and begin, "I might sound as if I'm rambling, but words are not flowing. I can't express the sorrow I feel. He was my brother and, for most of my life, he was my protector. The only family I had. It's a dark time, and I'm struggling to understand," Squeezing my hold on Summer's and Mina's hands, I blow a breath, "I wish you all had met him in his prime. The star football player with a uniquely positive outlook on life, despite the obstacles he faced. You would understand me then."

Staring at the casket, I speak to my brother, "I promise to fulfill each one of your requests," I veer my eyes to Summer, "Keep you in my heart and relay stories, so you're never forgotten." Diverting my eyes back to the casket, I'm grateful it's closed. The images of the gun firing are still vivid, and I couldn't bear to see his pale face, "I'm sorry I couldn't save you." I break down, once again voicing my thoughts. Mina untangles her fingers and wraps an arm around me as my knees threaten to buckle. Summer's whimpers pull me back into the moment and waver the horrific images of his suicide. For her, I gather the strength to finish, "I love you, Matt. You will live on through your daughter."

As I embrace Summer, Mina embraces me. Everyone remains quiet as we take a moment to compose ourselves. Standing here, weak, we give in to the grief and allow it to take its course. I just pray to be given the strength to honor the promises I've made to my brother.

Glancing down at my niece, I smile meekly and caress her cheek. She's as beautiful as her mother, but my brother's personality amplifies within her. "Are you ready?" Mina questions reluctantly, disrupting my thoughts. I nod in response, and she signals the men. Stefano and Petro are the first to their feet as Raffaele, Tommy, Luciano, and Antonio join them. Picking up the casket, they rest my brother on their shoulders and wait for us.