Marked

Chapter 4: Concerns

The elated feeling of finding my mate, kissing my mate, being touched by mate, it all came crashing down. Painfully. The fluttering turned to nausea and I couldn't look at him. Alpha of the Blood Moon Pack. The Alpha who was known not just here but nearly everywhere in the world as being the most vicious, the most dangerous, the one who not only killed needlessly but enjoyed doing it. How could that Alpha be my mate?

My mind was split in half. I wanted nothing to do with him. He was no good. He was evil. But he was mine. He was mine and I wanted him. I needed him. I craved him. His intensity suddenly made so much more sense. No wonder his presence was so strong. I'd heard plenty about his incomparable strength but feeling it was a whole different experience. Strong enough to take on several packs at once with no breaks in between, which he'd done on more than one occasion. The only time I ever saw his pack come up it was quickly followed up with one word. Killers.

It didn't make sense. I'd heard from other people who saw the messes he left behind that it was a blood bath, that he had no mercy, that he killed even when people surrendered. That all sounded bad enough to reject him right then and there but it didn't add up. He'd been so tender with me, rough yes, but tender too. I was so confused, too confused to focus on the meeting. I couldn't hear a damn thing.

I could feel his stare on me but I just couldn't look at him again. It made no sense. He'd shown he had no loyalty to anyone. His pack had no allies and he never helped a neighboring pack, not once. He did, however, take advantage when he saw a weakness. He'd overthrown five packs just in the last two years. His pack was so large he had two Betas and four Gammas. Part of me grew excited at the thought. He was strong. Strong and powerful enough to silence a room. It was normally something I would love to have in a mate. But it came with coldness. He was merciless. Those were traits I couldn't get past.

The meeting ended and I didn't notice until Renzo was waving a hand in front of my face. I snapped out of it and couldn't stop the glance to Kane who was staring at me with furrowed brows. He tilted his head and I could almost feel him asking me what was wrong and that only made it more confusing. If he was as bad as everyone said, why would he show a soft side with me?

Except I'd heard the story a thousand times- vicious pack leaders finding their mates, showing they were capable of more by being incredibly loving, only to flip a switch the moment the marking happened, after their mate was stuck with them and sometimes powerless, they'd go right back to their ruthless ways and it never ended well. It never ended well.

I could feel him reaching out to me in our bond but I couldn't. It was too much. Between Addie and him... I'd just found him and now I didn't know what to do. I tore my eyes away and packed up my papers.

"Dude, what's going on with you?" Renzo asked. "Why was the Alpha of the Blood Moon Pack staring at you through the whole meeting?"

Kane could hear. I know he could hear and it was clear he was paying very close attention to me. I could feel it because somehow, our bond was already strong. Strong enough I could feel his confusion, his concern, even the little bit of jealousy in there as Renzo stayed close to my side. That bothered me, too. Wasn't me telling him I was his when he first saw Renzo next to me good enough?

Fuck, I was going to spiral if I dwelled on this anymore. I could feel it. I couldn't deal with this now. I had another meeting to attend and admitting to Renzo that my mate, the person who was supposed to be my other half, was the murderer I'd talked shit about only hours ago, I just couldn't do it.

"Who knows," I answered quietly, grabbing the bag and heading to the door, making sure to not look at Kane again as I exited and hurried down the vague direction I heard the next meetings would happen.