John Kramer imagines (book 2)

get up and try

"John, please just listen to me.. we're going to make it. Okay? Me and you. Like we always do." I whispered, as I looked across at him. He was doubting himself again, he went a bit crazy sometimes and it was hard to see, he didn't believe in himself enough and it was sad. I loved him so much that I couldn't breathe. "Why do I always fucking lose?!" He slammed his fists into the table, as he sighed deeply, he looked down, breathing heavily. "You just have to try." My voice cracked, as I felt my tears roll down my face, I wished I could tell him how much I loved him, but I wouldn't. I wouldn't ever tell him, that was the worst part. "Just, leave me alone for a while. Please." He looked away from me, as I turn and I walk out of the room, I shut the door as I ran out into the woods, I didn't know where to go, my heart was crushed, beyond words. I didn't know what to do anymore, I was lost. I felt lost, I didn't know who this man was becoming. "You've got to try. Just try again." I walked for hours, my legs hurt but I wasn't sure where else to go, I just felt a bit pointless, I had cried so many tears that seemed to have been wasted. "Y/n!" I heard John shout my name, in the distance. I frowned, as I wasn't sure where exactly he was. "Y/n! Please- come back. Come back!" I sighed, as I wiped my tears away, I began to walk back towards the way I went, I don't know why I even bothered, I shouldn't of been so easy to just go back to him after this.

"Damn it." I sighed, before I headed back towards the house, he glanced my way, before he pulled me into his arms. I hug him back tightly, as he leaned into my shoulder. "Where did you go?" He looked down at me, as I shrugged. "I was just in the woods, I didn't know where to go." He held my face softly. "I'm sorry, darling. I didn't mean to shout like that, you were right. I have to try again. And I have you to thank for that." He smiled a bit, as I nodded. "I know, John." I let go of him, as I went inside, I head upstairs and into the bedroom, shutting the door. I grab my bag from underneath the bed, before I grab some clothes and whatever I could carry, I had to leave this house. I couldn't be around John if it meant I couldn't love him. And I knew he didn't know, but it crushed me that I couldn't just be honest. The door opened, "What are you doing?" He watched me, as I stood up. "I'm going back to my apartment, John. I can't be here anymore." He looked confused. "What? No. You can't just walk out on me." He grabbed my bag, throwing it on the ground. "I have to, because if I look at you anymore, I'm never going to forgive myself. Because I love you and I can't be friends with someone I love more than that. I won't." He looked shocked, "You love me?" I shake my head, as I went to walk away. "Don't just fucking leave, y/n. Talk to me. Why didn't you tell me this?" I stopped, as I looked back at him. "I was ashamed, okay? I was ashamed to love you, John."

"What the fuck, y/n? Why? You know I love you. Surely you should know that by now." He looked outside the window, as I lean against the window. "When it suits you." I whispered, he looked back. "Don't give me that shit. This is more than friendship and you know it." He snapped. "Do I, John? Because you don't act like it, when you're still hung up over Jill." I glared. "Oh, you little bitch." He growled, as I shake my head. "Fuck you and your fake 'I love you' bullshit. You're still in love with her." He looked away, sighing deeply. "I never did, you know." I frown, confused. "What?" I didn't understand. "I never loved her. I just wanted a kid, she wanted a baby and so did I. And once she lost him, I didn't want anything else to do with her. We didn't love each other." I looked back at his eyes. "I know you wanted him, John. I'm sorry. You know I am." I bite my lip, as I take a moment. "I know."

"I'll always know."