i love it when they scream *part 2*

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John had stayed away for months, even after I sent him away, he did just that. But after he had told me he wouldn't give up, I knew that he kept his word, he always did. It had been about a month since that night, my face was healing and I hadn't heard from Mark or Amanda, I got in from work, turning the light on, Amanda was stood in my living room. "Shit!" I shouted, "Please don't scream." She whispered, I sighed as I sat on the couch. "You need to come with me." She sounded calm, friendly almost. "What? Why?" I was confused what she was on about. "John. He's kind of lost it, I don't know if it's because of you or what.. but, please y/n. I need your help. He's not right. He needs you." I looked outside the window, "Why couldn't he just stay away? I told him I couldn't do it again. Not after what happened with Hoffman." I lean back, "Mark's an asshole, anyway, he's gone. He's left town. And John made sure of it too." She sat beside me, as I looked at her, "He loves you. You know?" I nodded, "I know, Amanda. I've known for a long time, but this life.. it's not for everyone and I'm scared. I'm terrified." She took my hand. "Listen to me, we both know what John has sacrificed for us. For this work. What we do. We need to work together on this. I need your help, when he isn't here, I need someone to lean on." I trusted Amanda, despite what people thought, she was a very good friend to me. "Fine. Tell him I'm willing to talk. He can come here. Tonight." I stand up, as I lean on the counter.

"Thank you." She hugged me, as I lean into her shoulder, I squeeze her gently. "It's been a month, I may as well listen." She pulled away, as she smiled. "I'll see you soon, I promise." She leaves, as I bite my lip, nervously. "Fuck." I really didn't know how this was going to go, I hadn't seen him for four weeks, I was honestly not prepared for this. That evening, I had got ready, I was sat on my couch, watching a movie when the doorbell rang. I take a breath, when I opened the door, John smiled. "Hey." I look at him, "I'm glad you made it." I turn, as I went into the kitchen, the door closed. He sat on the couch, as I grab some glasses. "Do you want wine?" I look back, "Sure. Thanks." I sat back down, pouring two glasses. "So, you want to talk. Let's talk." I lean back, as he placed his hand on my thigh. "I miss you, y/n. It broke my heart when you made me leave, I know it isn't easy between us, but I love you. I need you to be on board with this." I take a breath, "Do you understand why I made you leave, John? I never said I didn't love you, because I do. I always have, but I need to think about myself. And I love being with you, but I also know I'm not safe. I don't feel safe." I sighed, as he watched me. "Baby, I love you. Please just come back to me." He looked down, as I played with his fingers. "The night Mark attacked me, I thought I was going to die. If you hadn't of found me.. I would of died, John." I take a breath.

"Look at me." He grabbed my face, as I look at his eyes. "That never would of happened, ever. Do you understand me? Never. This is why I want you beside me, darling. You're safe with me, I'd never let anyone hurt you." He pulled me onto his lap, as I hug him tightly. "I love you." I whispered, as he held me in his arms. "I love you, baby girl." He rubbed my back, as I close my eyes. "Shit, I'm sorry." I wipe my eyes, as he looked at me. "Y/n, you're fine. I promise." I look at him, when I noticed something was wrong. "John, you- why are you- did someone hurt you?" He pulled me off, as he turned away. "It's nothing." I frowned. "What aren't you telling me?" I stand up, as he looked back. "I just got in some problems with some guy." He shrugged. "Who the fuck is some guy, John? Are you serious?" I didn't buy it at all. "I have cancer, alright?" I froze. I didn't know what to think, my mind just went blank. "What did you just say to me?" I couldn't believe it, I really didn't. "I- I have cancer." I felt my stomach drop, as I turned away. "You have cancer? You're dying? So what, I go on to you about my 'problems' when you have cancer?! Why didn't you fucking tell me?!" My mind was racing. "Baby, I didn't want to worry you." He took my hand, as I shake my head, I was so hurt. "I thought you loved me, John. Why didn't you tell me about something like this? You could die. In fact, you will. And you know it too." My voice broke, as he nodded. "I'm so sorry, baby. I'm sorry."

"John, please. Don't. Don't apologise to me. This isn't your fault, fuck. It's mine." I lean back, he watched me. "This isn't your fault, babe. I have cancer, it just happened." I looked down, I was holding my tears back, I had to be strong. I couldn't let him see me cry. "Y/n?" Shit, don't cry. Don't cry. "I'm fine." I whispered, as I felt his arms around me from behind, I started to cry. "Baby girl, now now." He pulled me into him, as I turn around and hug him tightly. I shut my eyes as I sobbed into his shoulder, he held me close. "I'm sorry." I sighed, as he rubbed my back. "Baby, if you need to cry, it's okay. I'm right here. I'm never going to leave."

It turned out, he did. He died four years later.

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