When no one believes, believe in yourself.

Chap 19

After they go to the kitchen yzy asks ywy  about lxc.

Yzy: So, lan xichen is your boyfriend? Do you love him?

Ywy: *shy,blushing* yes a-niang. He is nice and kind.

Yzy: jfm was nice and kind too.

Ywy: A-niang please. Don’t compare huan-ge with that man. Huan-ge takes care of me. He loves me and when I have a nightmare he hugs me to sleep. He waited for me, even when I couldn't give him physical intimacy. He didn’t tell me that my scars look ugly or that I should do something I don't want. For him I'm enough. More than enough. He even helped me with my therapy. He goes to my appointments with me, protects me and doesn’t let anyone near me if I feel uncomfortable.

Yzy: Is he controlling?

Ywy: no mama never. He supports me in every decision. He is the reason I'm still alive and I want to live. Before him, I wanted to die everyday. But now I want to live with him everyday.

Yzy: That's what I wanted to know about my son. I’m glad you found someone who loves you as much as you love.

Ywy: But a-niang, everything is ruined now. Wwx-he, he saw me. He’ll try to take me away. He’ll tell jfm and they’ll come for me. I don’t want to go back. When huan_ge, - huan-ge, without my permission, doesn’t even come near me, and when he touches me I like that. But I never liked it when wwx touched me. He used to molest me. I don’t want him anywhere near me.

Yzy: If you don’t want him near you, I promise he’ll not. Not under my watch. I just want my baby, safe and happy.

Ywy: But mama wwx, he, he saw me.

Yzy: It's ok. Don’t worry. I’ll handle everything. If need be, we’ll tak restraining order from the court. You also have your boyfriend to protect you.

Ywy: but mom i don’t wanna be a burden. He’ll get tired of me and my issues.

Yzy: no baby. You are not a burden my son. And lxc loved you even after finding out your problems and he helped you and supported you, according to you. Then he won’t leave you ever just because of this. That boy truly loves you. And my boy deserves all the love in this world.

Ywy: a-niang, ho-how is a-jie?

Yzy: She’s fine. She has a boyfriend too. Do you want to meet her?

Ywy: would a-jie want to meet me? She always prefers wwx.

Yzy: Oh silly boy, why won’t she? She’ll want to meet you. She cries a lot thinking about you. She misses you.

Ywy: *shy* really?

Yzy: of course. Get better and I'll bring a-li with me next time. It’ll break her heart, finding her brother after so long in a sickbed. So you’ll have to look after yourself and get better soon. Ok?

Ywy: yes, a-niang. Will you sing for me? Your song?

Yzy: of course my little lotus. *sings him to sleep, in her arms*