Ineffable Bureaucracy (One/twoshots)

Entry #6

Today I witnessed an appalling sight.

Upon visiting the traitor Crowley, I witnessed him performing unholy acts upon the traitor Aziraphale. Which, normally, I would applaud, but this acts involved Crowley's mouth and Aziraphale's cheek. They did not have the respect for me to act appalled at my discovery, and attempted to persuade me that it was completely normal and not at all dirty or uncouth. If any demon would so much as touch an Angel with their lips, they are a traitor.

That is not even the end to my horror! As I am berating Crowley for his actions, he grabs the angel by the waist and puts his lips onto the angel's. I immediately came home and raced to give Asmodeus my news but she did not seem as shocked or appalled as I was! She proceeded to tell me that the traitors were simply using a new way of greeting that the humans invented in order to maintain their cover as simple, idiotic people. She suggested I attempt this new greeting with the Archangel Gabriel.

I will have to do more research into this subject, because I have seen Leviathan and Asmodeus do the same thing in greeting, in parting, and in conversation.

Personal Note: Attempt new human greeting at next meeting with the Archangel Gabriel. Also remember to get milk.