Ineffable Bureaucracy (One/twoshots)

Bet Gone Wrong (pt. 2)

Beelzebub and Gabriel were sitting on a park bench in St. James Park, waiting for the demon and angel of the hour to appear.

"I doubt you are correct." Gabriel grumbled.

"I doubt you are correct." Beelzebub mocked, pulling at their fishnet socks nervously.

"You could be a little nicer." Gabriel rolled his eyes, spreading on the bench with his arms over the back.

"I'm a demon, I'm not nice." Beelzebub hissed.

"That's obvious." The demon of gluttony ignored him at this point, pulling a lemon from their pocket and biting straight into it.

They went back to sitting in silence, Beelzebub pulling their feet up under them. With the way they were sitting, they almost resembled a couple.

"How are you?" Gabriel eventually asked, shocking Beelzebub into looking up at him.

"What do you mean?" They asked the archangel.

"How have you been since the traitors foiled the Armageddon?" Gabriel repeated. The demon was silent for a moment.

"Fine, I guezz. By demon standardz." They eventually mumbled, continuing to eat their lemon, peel and all.

"That's good. Why do you eat human food?" Gabriel asked them.

"I'm the demon of gluttony. I also sleep." Beelzebub said.

"Really?" Gabriel seemed shocked.

"Yes." Beelzebub said as if he was stupid. They descended into silence again.

Beelzebub looked around and took in the sights and smells and sounds. They thought it was slightly romantic and cute and would have blushed if they hadn't seen their targets right at that moment.

"There." They said, their hand coming down on Gabriel's thigh. They didn't notice, but the archangel looked down at the tiny hand gripping his muscular thigh and flexed it slightly so that they could feel the muscles.

He looked up when he realized they weren't focusing and saw Crowley and Aziraphel sitting on a bench across the park but close enough to see.

Aziraphel held a book in his lap, and balanced in his hands were a cup of tea and an eclair. Crowley wore his signature sunglasses and held a small bottle of wine.

"They don't look like they are having... intercourse." Gabriel whispered.

"Just watch, Angel." Beelzebub snapped. Gabriel raised an eyebrow and fell quiet.

As they watched, Aziraphel and Crowley seemed to get closer and closer to each other, smiling and laughing and talking like they were the only people in the world.

"Beelzebub, I don't they are-" Gabriel said, but stopped when Beelzebub squeezed his thigh hard, causing them to look up.

Crowley reached out and gently turned Aziraphel's face towards him, pulling him into a kiss that was gentle and soft. Aziraphel turned bright red and kissed back, and that was where the sweet kiss ended.

Crowley practically pulled Aziraphel on top of him as they made out, and with the subtle rocking of Aziraphel's hips, it wasn't hard to guess what they were doing. They eventually pulled apart and practically ran to the Bentley.

Just as they sped away, Beelzebub turned to Gabriel with a smirk.

"I believe I just won the bet." They teased. Gabriel would have pouted, but he was the archangel.

"Okay, you won. What do you want?" He sighed. The tiny demon thoughts for a second before smiling.

"When the next meeting comes around, where a white shirt with red letters that says, "I'm Archangel Fucking Gabriel" on it." They smirked. The next meeting between the two of them, the other demons and angels would also be here.