Ineffable Bureaucracy (One/twoshots)

Entry #2

Date: xx-xx-xxxx

Dear Diary,

Apparently I am not using you correctly. It has been three days since I have last written in your pages, and Prince Asmodeus says I am not doing it right, and that I have to put 'feelings' inside of you. So, I shall give you my feelings.

I suppose the first thing I should tell you is about the peacock in my office, as I am sure you have been dying to know why it was there. I was repaying a favor by watching over the bird. The favor was to the Archangel Gabriel.

The Archangel Gabriel is the most vile being in this universe. He is a brown-nosed goody two shoes who sucks up to God and bats his little eyelashes to get his way. He is insufferable, and I hate him to my core.

A rather large part of the reason why is because his little brother, an angel named Aziraphel, fell in love with and swayed a fellow demon to his side, and together they stopped the end of the world. Can you imagine it, being swayed by an Angel? Though you have no face, I assume you are disgusted as much as I am.

They are currently in love and living on Earth, watching over the Antichrist. That boy should have ended the world, and yet he runs after another poor boy, chasing his tail! His name is Adam Young.

I have just been informed that the Archangel Gabriel has arrived for a meeting. Speak of the devil, and he shall appear. That's a saying I learned from Prince Leviathan and Prince Asmodeus. It seems rather fitting, doesn't it?

Goodbye, dear diary.

Sincerely,

Lord Beelzebub

Postscript: Remind me to never make a deal or favor with the Archangel Gabriel. That dumb bird ate my socks!