Ineffable Bureaucracy (One/twoshots)

Bet Gone Wrong (pt. 3)

"What is that-"

"Why are they here-"

"We should help-"

"I don't-"

"Crowley-"

"Angel-"

"We're helping-"

"-take them home-"

"Okay."
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Beelzebub opened their eyes and blinked slowly. They were sore and their head was pounding and ears ringing, but they were warm and dressed in new clothes.

They slowly sat up. They were in a chair, a very soft chair, that was just big enough for them to curl up into. Their pet fly was asleep on a carpet next to a fire, and it was the only fly around them.

The prince looked around; They were surrounded by shelves of books. A small table was next to them with still-hot tea and crepes on it. They were wrapped in a soft blanket and dressed in an oversized shirt.

"Where am I?" They mumbled, rubbing at their eyes. It was almost cute.

"You're in my book shop." The demon turned around quickly as Aziraphel walked in, holding a book.

"Why am I here?" Beelzebub asked the angel.

"You were found in an alley by Crowley and I. I'm sorry to frighten you." Aziraphel smiled kindly and gave Beelzebub the tea and the crepes.

"I fell asleep there." Beelzebub mumbled.

"If you don't mind me asking, why?" Aziraphel sat down and drank his own tea. Beelzebub bit their lip.

"If you don't mind, I'll tell you later." They said quietly. He nodded, smiled, and went back to his pastry. Beelzebub looked over at the book in his lap.

"Karen Memory" was written on the cover. Beelzebub was interested, and Aziraphel noticed. He handed them the book and they almost shyly took it and began reading.

Beelzebub didn't move for the rest of the day, devoted to reading the book. It was late when they fell back asleep.
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Beelzebub began a new life very quickly. After spending a few days in the book shop pouring over books, Aziraphel gave them an apartment above the shop. They moved in.

They learned to cook, read and write human like, learned slang and pop culture references, got favorite tv shows and music. They became very much human.

They learned how to shop and act human. Though they didn't really have a gender, and they didn't really care about gender, they found they had a more feminine style. They liked skinny jeans and tight shirts and jackets, bought a few crop tops and skirts, and bought one pair of heels they hid in their closet.

They took an interest in watching wrestling and boxing because of the violence. They liked K-pop because to them it was unique and they liked the message "love yourself, speak yourself" that one band had. They loved fantasy and adventure and horror books, and even if they wouldn't admit it, they loved the crepes Aziraphel gave them every few days.

They enjoyed their new life. But they missed Gabriel. They missed talking to him, arguing not just talking about their jobs and the idiots they worked with. They missed his aura, his presence, everything. They wanted him still.
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A few months after starting their new life, Beelzebub was woken up by knocking on their apartment door. They got up and yawned, stretching high enough that the oversized shirt they wore to bed rode up slightly to reveal pale, thick thighs.

They walked to the door and opened it, expecting Aziraphel or even Crowley. When they opened the door they saw a wall of white and grey, and as they looked up, they met lavender eyes.

"Gabriel?" They whispered it softly, backing up slightly.

"Beelzebub." He spoke softly and walked closer. Beelzebub walked backwards into the room and he followed. "I wanted to talk to you."

"I thought you hated me." Beelzebub whispered.

Gabriel went silent for a few moments before closer to them. Beelzebub walked backwards as he approach and gulped as their back hit the wall. Gabriel kept walking forward.

"I don't hate you. I love you. I want you to come back with me, leave the traitors and whatever it is you have and come back and be with me." Gabriel said softly, reaching up and cradling their face. Beelzebub gasped and he leaned the small space and kissed them, sliding his tongue into their mouth immediately.

Beelzebub kissed back immediately. They loved the feeling of his tongue sliding around and licking and searching their mouth, and when he started fucking their mouth with his tongue, they moaned.

His big hands held their waist and massaged their hip bones with his thumbs. They were in bliss as they held his shoulders. And then they felt his fingers in their underwear and they gasped and shoved him back.

"What are you doing?!" They gasped.

"I thought we were making out or about to have sex?" Gabriel said, raising an eyebrow.

"Wh- No. I don't want to." Beelzebub blurted out.

"What?! Why?!" Gabriel snapped. "I thought you liked me?!"

Beelzebub froze and didn't say anything. They didn't know what to say. They loved their new life but it was true that they also loved him. But according to Gabriel, they couldn't have both.

"I'm sorry Gabriel. But I want to keep my life. I love my life. I'm sorry." Beelzebub said. They made money, actual human money, and cooked and cleaned and listened to music and wrote and read and made a few semi-friends.

"You really want to keep this life? This boring, horrible, human life?" Gabriel yelled. Beelzebub flinched.

"Yes. And if you don't agree, you can leave." Beelzebub snapped, standing up for themselves. Gabriel stared at them before they were gone in a flash of light. Beelzebub stared at the place he had been and felt close to crying.

Their phone went off next to the bed they had and walked over. A girl they had met in a coffee shop, named Celeste, had texted. She was tall and had curly brown hair and blue eyes that were most lavender.

Celeste: Hey Bebe! Wanna go to a club with me? As a date?

Beelzebub stared at their phone before smiling.

Bebe: Yeah. I would like that.

They put down their phone and went to change. They felt confident. And some part of them wanted to be with Gabriel still, but he had to realize they weren't giving up their life for him.

Nobody, wether they identified as male or female or both or neither, should ever have to give up what makes them happy just for one person. Beelzebub had learned that through the amazing books, movies, music, and people they had come to love.

So, dressed in a black mini dress and black boots they had never been confident enough to wear in public, Beelzebub met up with their friend for a night of dancing, music, fun, and maybe, just maybe, some kisses and touches that wouldn't burn their skin or make them unhappy.

For once, they didn't care about Gabriel and what Hell or Heaven thought. They only cared about what Beelzebub thought.

And Beelzebub though that they were an amazing, smart, fun, exciting, and just slightly bitchy non-binary demon that was ready to dance the night away without a care.