Ineffable Bureaucracy (One/twoshots)

Bet Gone Wrong pt. 4

"This. Is. A. Horrible. Idea." Crowley hissed down at Aziraphel. The short angel only continued to adjust Crowley's suit and hum happily to himself. "Angel, are you listening to me at all?"

"Oh of course I am, Crowley dear. I think it was a splendid idea, and did you see their face when you offered the position to them?" Aziraphel looked up and smiled. "I haven't seen them this happy since they adopted Sky and Violet."

"Their guinea pigs eat your books at night, I hope you know." Crowley smiled. Aziraphel swatted his shoulder before smiling and twisting the small silver and blue ring on their finger.

"I love you, Crowley." He whispered.

"I love you to Angel." Crowley smiled and kissed him softly, bringing a happy little smile to Aziraphel's face.

"I don't think the groom is supposed to kiss the bride til after the ceremony." They both looked up to see Beelzebub in the door way smiling at them. Dressed in black dress pants, a white dress shirt, black jacket and shoes, and the ever present fishnet socks, you wouldn't believe that the demon walked around in boxers and fan t-shirts most of the time.

"I am not a bride!" Aziraphel grumbled.

"Sure you aren't." The small demon walked into the room and smiled at them. "I'm happy for you guys."

"Didn't you say last night you wanted to cut my balls off because I wouldn't let you bring the guinea pigs or the fly?" Crowley raised an eyebrow.

"Semantics." Aziraphel and Beelzebub laughed at Crowley's expression. "I can't believe only a year ago you got down on one knee."

"Technically, he got down on his face." Aziraphel chuckled. Beelzebub giggled.

"Thank you for letting me be the best man. That kid is still grumbling that he couldn't be the best man, but I told him we could put him in a dress and make him the flower girl." Beelzebub grinned.

"Don't torture the poor dear."

"Ah come on Azi, let demons be demons."

"Beelzebub, you are now as much of a demon as I am, and I am the literal opposite of a demon."

"I take offense to that."

"You put your guinea pig in a tea cup and laughed about it for twenty minutes."

"Shut up Crowley." The three grinned and laughed. It had been a good number of years since Beelzebub moved in with them. They constantly said they would move out, but Aziraphel wouldn't hear of it, even if the demon could support themself and their pets. Beelzebub showed their gratitude by paying for Aziraphel and Crowley's wedding with real, hard earned human money, even going so far as to pay for the ring, which had been well over a few thousand pounds (Crowley just had to have the best ring for his angel now didn't he.)

They worked at various places, had a few friends, was the proud parent to a corgi-sized fly and two female guinea pigs, had been in a few relationships, took care of a house plant (Crowley was not allowed near the plant), and even had a tattoo that read Raise Hell on the small of their back. All in all, they led a pretty nice life now.

A... pretty... nice life. It wasn't all sunshine, rainbows, and teacup riding guinea pigs. They were constantly receiving messages from Hell to come back, to come home and take care of the place. And really, they didn't want to, no matter how homesick they felt. They liked their life on Earth and understood now how Crowley and Aziraphel felt about it. They didn't want to return back to Hell to destroy someplace they now have come to love.

They never forgot the day where they made Gabriel leave their apartment above the bookshop. They constantly wondered what it would be like if they did end up sleeping with the archangel. Would they be as happy as they were now, standing next to the people who basically started all of this? Would they have a home? Would they be able to cook, sleep, read? Would they be able to take care of their plant? Would they have their guinea pigs? They couldn't loose their guinea pigs. Not the guinea pigs.