America's Crazy Ass States

4th of July Redo

(Note, yes I can write a whole 4th of July chapter but not finish Kansas. It was midnight and I was bored when I wrote this. Why redo it? The previous one makes me cringe when I think of it so here's a redo. Hope I did better. It's kinda just a whole new story since it doesn't follow the events of the other 4th of July story. Decided not to follow it since Cali fucking kisses Mickey Mouse and now that I've calculated her human age this act would be very illegal. And the end was kinda cringy and badly written, at least to me. This new one also has more states in it. With their state next to their human name because I forget who is who too.

Little funfact of this chapter, it was originally gonna be the west coast but I decided to change it to the south because that;s too mean. You'll get it when you read the line. Poor west coast.)

Alfred yelped as he was jumped on.

"Happy birthday, Mom!" Giggles and shouts filled the room.

He yawned and wrapped his arms around as many of his children as he could. Taking a glance at the clock, the man groaned.

"You guys couldn't have waited till 10? It's 5:36." He huffed, running his fingers through Cassie's(North Carolina) light brown hair.

"We're hungry! Tyler(Texas) whined. The rest of the states expressed their agreement.

Alfred sighed, the corners of his lips twitching a bit. "Alright, what do y'all want to eat?"

A range of different foods were shouted from burgers to pancakes to fish. He let out a little chuckle as small squabbles started between the states.

"How about...pancakes, bacon, and eggs?"

The states cheered, gifting their mother with hugs and kisses as thanks.

Alfred mused over the word 'mother'. Over 200 years ago he wouldn't have guessed that he would consider the 13 brats his children, nor that he would gain more of them.

"Get off so I can feed you little monsters." He teased, smirking at the offended gasps he got. Orin(Mississippi) pouted and sat down on legs, several states followed his example.

Alfred rolled his eyes, "do you guys want food or not?"

They all climb off him, some more grumpily than the others. The nation rolled out of bed, almost falling flat on his face.

He stretched, his bones making popping noises.

"You're getting old." Marcus(Massachusetts) teased.

Alfred stuck out his tongue at the teen. "I'm 19, you little shit."

"Definitely right about the little shit part." Elan(Alaska) muttered. The states burst out in laughter.

"Come on, little ones, let's stop dilly-dallying." Alfred cooed, patting Marcus on the head as he rallied the states. Said boy glared up at him.

Alfred snickered under his breath.

The most struggle they had going downstairs was trying not to trip on each other while on the stairs. Alfred had ended up carrying Olly(D.C) to stop the child from falling. Somehow, they made it to the kitchen without someone getting hurt.

After placing Olly into a chair, Alfred got to work. He ordered Theodore(Virginia) to keep Tess(West Virginia) out of the kitchen, not wishing for a reenactment of the Halloween Fire of 2004. Clementine(Louisiana) and Marcus to help him prepare the meal while Ophelia(Illinois) and Arthur(Delaware) got the states under control. Theodore and Célia(Missouri) having to help them multiple times. Every once in a while Alfred had to step in to prevent someone from breaking something, either their bones or a piece of furniture. Anne(Arkansas) was almost kicked out of the kitchen for smoking...and for trying to murder Foster(Kansas).

Alfred sighed in relief as the meal was finished. The 13 colonies helped distribute the food, excluding Geo(Georgia) who was annoying Ace(Alabama).

"Come come, I'm not letting you guys destroy the living room..again." Alfred lectured, guiding his kids towards the dining room.

There were groans and whines as he opened the door to the reasonably spacious dining room, enough chairs for all the states to sit in. Of course, most of them ignored the chairs and sat on the floor in little groups. Although, the original 13 plus Elan, Leilani(Hawaii), and Olly stayed with him.

They huddled around him and argued over who got to sit closest. Alfred ended up sitting on the hardwood floors to avoid a food fight.

The nation grinned at his children's smiling faces and laughter. He was glad that his boss let him have this day off. Usually he only had 20 days off a year, including holidays. The time he got to spend with his children had decreased dramatically over the years. Alfred treasured the moments he got with his states, no matter how much they annoyed the shit out of him.

After finishing their breakfast, the family moved into the living room and set up Jackbox. The idea of playing Monopoly or Uno had been shut down right away by Alfred, who didn't want Civil War 2 happening in his living room at 8 in the morning.

They spent a good 4 hours playing video games. The only interruptions being phone calls and texts from other nations wishing him happy birthday. That and Cali(California) trying to throw Jackson(Washington) out a window.

Lunchtime consisted of sandwiches and fighting over soda. And said soda being hurled at someone's head, which resulted in Marcus being grounded and a teary eyed Casper(New Hampshire).

The party was moved outside after sandwiches. Penny(Pennsylvania) started a game of baseball. Cassie ended up getting hit in the face with a baseball causing Cordelia(South Carolina) to get overprotective. Alfred had to turn away from the burgers he was making to break up a fight and reassure Cordelia that her sister was perfectly fine.

Speaking of burgers, Tyler was helping Alfred set them up and was currently dumping a bottle of spice onto them.

Besides the baseball accident, the only other event getting in the way of making burgers was Paxon(Florida) trying to deep throat a firecracker.

By the time the sun had started setting, the burgers were finished and multiple fireworks had been set off. It was only when the sun finally set that Alfred let the kids set all the fireworks off. Turned out to be a bad idea since the south managed to light themselves on fire without the help of Marcus' lighter.

Alfred almost had a fucking heart attack because of his dumbass kids. They're lucky that they're cute.

The rest of the night was spent laughing and chatting. They finished up at 3 in the morning.

The states piled into Alfred's bed. While he didn't complain at the time, he would when he was pushed out of the bed by Noah(New York).