The Sun and His Moon

27

Louis tossed around in bed for a good hour before getting up. It was uncomfortable even trying to sleep while knowing Harry is a room away from. It wasn't that he had a problem sleeping alone, it was more so about Harry being there and not with him. It was about Harry being alone, without Louis to protect him. No matter how many times harry got mad at him for being afraid for him, he couldn't stop. He cared too much to do that. "Fuck," he groaned, getting up. He grabbed his duvet, dragging it behind him as he padded over to the room Harry had gone in. 

Sure enough, Harry was sleeping as sound as ever but what really surprised Louis was how he was sleeping. He had a pillow behind his back, not in front of him. His heart clenched at that. He plopped down on the couch, curling up with the duvet. Even though Harry had told him to not be afraid for him, he really couldn't help it. He couldn't let Harry sleep alone. He knew it was extremely irrational of him to do that, to treat Harry like a child but Harry was, in many ways, like one. 

"Why do you do this to me?" he choked. "Now, my beautiful pet, we don't ask questions, do we? You know what happens when you ask too many questions don't you?" she asked, smiling mockingly. "Yes, ma'am. I'm sorry," he whispered, head down in shame, in fear, and in respect for God knows what. He wanted to run, he wanted to tell someone, everyone, anyone but he felt like his feet were glued to the ground. He couldn't move, she had that sort of power over him. "Why don't you give me a little twirl then? Hmm? Show me how pretty my boy looks in the new necklace," she asked, lightly tapping his shoulder. He nodded softly, twirling around. She abruptly slapped him across his face. "Always respond with words, pet. I taught you better than that didn't I?" she snapped. "Yes yes I'm so sorry ma'am so sorry it won't happen again promise I am so sorry!" he babbled, tears streaming down his reddening cheeks.

"Sorry....so..sorry....won't..wo..do..again," Harry mumbled in his sleep, struggling to get up. It was almost as if some invisible force was pinning him down to the bed. Louis woke up startled, staring at Harry. He had never seen anything quite like it. He was almost frozen for a minute before he jumped up from the couch. He rushed over to his side and grabbed his shoulders. "Harry, honey wake up! Oh God I..I don't..wake up. Please wake up!" he cried, shaking him. "Love, please try to wake up...I..I'm...don't..I don't have an inhaler..oh God I should've bought one the day you started sleeping over. Please," he wailed, cupping his face. Harry's eyes shot open. "Won't do it again, won't do it again, sorry," he chanted between the heavy breaths. "Hazza? What won't you do again?" he asked softly, breaking Harry's trance. Harry looked at him with wide eyes. Louis stared at those eyes in horror. They were empty of light, of life. He didn't know those eyes. They weren't the eyes that housed his homeland, they were scared, belittled, dead. He put a shaking hand on Harry's shoulder who was still breathing heavily. It wasn't an asthma attack, thank the gods. "Bambi?" he whispered. Harry didn't speak, pulling at Louis to be cuddled. "Okay um wait a moment," he smiled, getting up on the bed and lying on his side. Harry fit right in to be the little spoon. "I'm sorry," Harry whispered. "Shh don't be. It wasn't in your control," he assured, gently massaging Harry's shoulders. "I should've told you everything," he mumbled. "Bambi, no. All is forgiven. Don't worry about that. We can talk about it later," he sighed, kissing the back of his head. "You won't leave? You're not mad?" he inquired softly. "No and no. I am not leaving, no matter how many things you do and I'm not mad Harry. I am and was confused. I'm not mad at you, honey," he explained. "Can you teach me?" Harry asked. "Of course. But what?" he asked. "Teach me how to be a better man to myself. Teach me how to be more vulnerable, to be less defensive. Teach me how to say my name in a softer way. Teach me how you say it so it sounds even a little like when you say it," he said softly. "I'll teach you as many times as you need it, love, as many times as you need it," he assured with a kiss. "I love you, Louis," he smiled. "I love you too, Harry," he replied, voice strained.