Passion is the Divide Between Hunger and Need: A Tears of Shame Novel

Chapter 18: The Calm Before the Storm

... Thanks Becs, you are the most loyal and awesome fan there is! Thanks for all of the comments, votes & encouragement =D

Sorry it took so long :( This was very briefly edited so if you find mistakes, jst leave me a message.

Can anyone suggest a song for this chapter?? Enjoy =D

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Recap chap 17:

It was more than I could have endured to feel the confusion and apprehension that she pushed on me. Soon enough, I knew that it would have been far worse than just confusion and worry. It would have been pure anger and hate. I couldn’t have handled those feelings from her, but I owed it to her to have suffered it. Everything I had done in the last 16 years had been for her and soon, she would never have spoken to me or looked upon my face again. I couldn’t have blamed her for that.

A part of me wanted her forgiveness, but how could I have asked for it or expected it? Lianna was amazing, but no one was that selfless and accepting, no one but Arianna. Lia was Aria’s daughter and like her in so many ways. Maybe there was a slim hope for me yet.

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Chapter 18: The Calm Before the Storm

Xavier POV

“Xavier, where are you going?” A gentle voice called after me as I turned to leave. She rested her hand on my shoulder. I turned to greet her big blue eyes.

“Gena, I have something important to give to Lianna.” I responded casually, though the sorrow permeated me voice. My hand was buried in my pocket, tightly clutched the letter as though it were my life line.

“Really? Didn’t you already give her a gift? Doesn’t she like the car you bought her?” She inquired thoughtfully.

She was interested in my response, though I hadn’t wanted to have made her feel dreadful by bringing up Arianna. I could have lied to her, but I had the striking feeling that she had known what I had planned before she asked the question. She stood not 5 feet away from Ronan and myself when we had our disagreement. I was certain that she had heard every word with her acute vampire hearing.

“I’m going to the cemetery to give Lia her mother’s letter.” I replied with a heavy sigh. I let out the breath and a bit of anxiety along with it.

“I suppose if you think that’s best. Are you sure you want to do that?” Gena smiled weakly, as if to have said ‘this may not be a good idea’. But I promised Aria, and it was the last thing I had to have done for her. I owed her that much, to have carried out her requests faithfully, since she was now gone and Lia was all I had left of her.

“Aria was her mother and Lia deserves to know what this letter contains. What her mother would have told her herself, if she were still alive.” I remarked with a hint a pain in my tone. I tried desperately to have hidden it, but I saw the recognition that flashed in Gena’s eyes as I mentioned Arianna’s name. It must have been so difficult for her to love someone she knew had not loved her the same way in return.

She smiled a small appeasing grin before I pressed my lips to her cheek and took my leave. I had no desire to have done this, again. It was just as important to me, to have given Lia Aria’s letter, as it was to her. I feared her reaction, as I had the time I had given her the first letter when she was 10 years old. Somehow, I dreamed that the outcome would have been the same, but I knew that it would not have been.

I had an idea of what the letter contained and it would have been devastating to Lia to have finally learned the truth. I remembered how I felt the day Aria uttered the words ‘I was raped’.  My heart was an empty shell, only it wasn’t empty. It was filled with contempt, anger, pain and pure disbelief.