Heart As Cold As Ice | 18+ | ✓

27: alondra

"Do you want to talk about it?" Jack asks, looking over his shoulder as he walks into the bathroom to brush his teeth. I already used his spare toothbrush to wash the taste of beer out of my mouth. It's kinda nice that he has his own bathroom. Peyton has her own too while Dylan and Coop share one.

I've only heard them complain about it a dozen times.

"Not really," I answer, pulling my knees up to my chest as I lean against his headboard.

"You barely said more than five words all night," He points out and I shrug indifferently. What am I supposed to say? 'Hey, sorry I didn't leave the rink when you told me to so I got distracted kissing you and then I got caught by my dad?'

I look at his wall which has pictures of Jack and his mom but there's also just as many pictures of him with his teammates. Hockey is everything to him just like my dad said.

Did I ever really love skating if I was able to walk away from it so easily for a boy I thought loved me? I know I was good at it, but did I love it?

That's the question I've been asking myself all day.

I'm not saying it was an easy choice to make. I was so far in over my head with Grady. At one point I believed him that I deserved to be hit for making him mad. I would have done anything to make him happy.

"Al, I would never force you to talk about it with me, but it might make you feel better." He says, reemerging to sit next to me on the bed.

"I don't know what there is to even talk about. Don't you know I'm a distraction for you?" I reply sarcastically and Jack frowns, marring his handsome features. I remember when I judged him at Twin City for being too pretty, assuming he'd never had to work for anything in his life.

I don't think I've met anyone who works harder for what they want than Jack.

"You and I both know that's not true."

I rest my head on my knee, looking at him from a sideways angle. "Do we? What was your performance like in that game before Halloween when we weren't talking?"

He gives me a flat look, "I'm allowed to have a bad game without it being your fault. I'm only one person, I don't dictate whether the team is going to win or lose."

"No, but you're the captain of the team. You play a pretty big role whether you like it or not."

"You're right, I am the captain, and your dad is my coach whether we like it or not. I can't change that, but I'm not going to let it affect our friendship. Church and state remember?" Jack says, brushing a knuckle over my cheek.

I shut my eyes tightly, feeling the tenderness of his action stab me straight through the heart. "You didn't see how disappointed in me he was. He told me that I would understand why he's asking me to leave you alone if I ever loved something as much as you love hockey."

"Shit Al, you have to know that your dad is fucking wrong about that. I've been skating with you so many times lately, and it's so easy to see how much you love it."

"What if he's right? I quit skating so quickly. If I could do that, does that mean I really ever loved it?"

"He's not right. Coach doesn't know what happened during your relationship with Grady. He doesn't know that you made that decision to protect yourself. And he certainly doesn't know that you were fucking strong enough to leave him because I know how hard that decision can be."

I feel a tear slip down my cheek because that was kind of exactly what I needed to hear. "Thanks," I say softly, lifting my head to wipe my cheek with the back of my hand.