The group eats some wild Frogoid flesh roasted in a blue fire made by Peter and drinks The Sludge from a well Bruce dug up. They made a settlement far east of the Battleworld Continent right next to the light blue ocean.
"Sarah Lance said that The Guy is several kilometers north from here," said Bruce.
"Why the hell would he pick the north pole? It's like the perfect place for Elsa and Anna to commit frozen incest," said Wade. "Hahahahaha..."
"Wade..." said Diana. "How much of that cactus juice did you drink?"
"No. It's fine..." said Wade. "These Cacti are alcoholic."
Bruce checks the binoculars and sees a cave entrance a kilometer away.
"Wade? You're coming with me," said Bruce.
"Alright..." said Wade. "Looks like I'm going to be Batman's partner this episode. Welp... Let's go, Master Bruce."
1 day later...
Wade spoke to you. The reader. "Hello, there! It's me, Deadpool! In your world by the time the author is reading this, Deadpool 3 hasn't even come out yet. And guess what? Disney bought Fox, so Deadpool 3 may or may not be canon. Another? I've been walking for three days and I SHOULD'VE WORN YELLOW AND BROWN PANTS!!! You know, yellow at the front and brown at the back. You get what I mean... I'm here just dillydallying all the way to fuckersville while Ben Affleck over here is dragging me to rob a fucking bank! I'M CLAIRE, BRUCE!!! I'M CLAIRE IN THIS SITUATION!!!"
"Will you shut the fuck up!?" asked Bruce. "God... I could just-..."
"I was trained in the Marine Corps, Wayne! I don't think you'd want to try to even fight me. I mean! Haha! You pose absolutely no threat to me!"
"You're from Canada, Wade."
"Semper Fi, bitch!"
"When will you shut up?"
"When will your crusade for justice bring your parents back? Ooh! Burn!"
"When will yours bring Vanessa back?"
"Hey!" Deadpool walks in front of Bruce and walked backward. "You don't mention her to my fucking face again or you'll get your FUCK ON, WAYNE!!!"
"Uh-huh..." sighed Bruce.
"I mean! God! Someone call Nathaniel Richards and Kang the Conqueror! We just found the worst variant in the whole fucking Multiverse! NO!!! OMNIVERSE!!!
I don't like you, Wayne! I always thought I'd love it when I meet Batman! Here he is! Drinking mess who's all crying because he lost people or whatever."
*BASH*
*CRACK*
"GAH!!!" yelled Deadpool, as Bruce broke his arm with a single punch. "Un Poco Loco! Bitch! God!
I'm sorry... I was tense, Batman. Please keep loving me, Papa... Papa? *sings*... Papa, can you hear me?"
Bruce slaps Deadpool in the face.
"Fuck!"
"Shut up," said Bruce.
"That's pretty rude, not gonna lie."
"No... Shut up!" said Bruce, grabbing Wade's mouth.
They've reached the cave. It's a large wet cave that is pitch black inside. Bruce noticed that their voices have been echoing the entire time. The cave was a hundred meters tall and 200 meters wide.
YOU ARE READING
DC and Marvel: Secret Crisis
FanfictionAfter Bruce Wayne made a deal with Doctor Doom, an interdimensional wizard who secretly worked for Darkseid, his action caused Five Earths to battle it out in something called the Secret Wars over one wish in a world he created: Battleworld. However...
