Lost and Found

Chapter 35

Sara had been so proud that she had been able to watch the Grand Prix from the track itself without freaking out completely. There had been multiple moments that Sunday where she had felt the urge to just run away and cry but she had forced herself to stay and despite being exhausted afterwards, she was proud of herself.

Both Pierre and Carlos had had a marvellous weekend with seventh and ninth in qualifying and fifth and seventh in the race, Carlos being ahead in both instances. Sara was proud of them, even though Pierre had found himself in quite the scrap with Perez in the final lap, or what was supposed to be the final lap. Because of technical difficulties, the flag had been waved a lap too early.

That night, Sara and Carlos found themselves back in the warm and soft hotel bed, curled up under the covers. They were watching a movie but Sara was having a very hard time keeping her mind focussed.

"I am proud of you," Carlos said. He too was having trouble keeping his attention on the movie. "I know it wasn't easy." Sara smiled.

"But it made you happy that I was there. That's the only bloody reason I am here. If it was up to me, I would never look at any kind of motorsport ever again." Carlos smiled. He knew and he was ever so thankful that Sara was willing to put her fear away just for him.

"I love you." He said for the millionth time that weekend and Sara chuckled.

"I love you too you doofus. Now, if you don't mind. I just really want to sleep."

"That's okay." He said and he watched how Sara laid down a bit flatter and wrapped her arm around his torso. "Good night."

"Good night." It took Sara about ten minutes to fall asleep and just when Carlos was about to turn off the lights to go to sleep himself as well thirty minutes later, Sara's phone buzzed from somewhere between the covers. Carlos softly cursed and tried to feel where it was. When he did, the message caught his eye.

Noah: Hey, when are you coming home. I miss you...

Carlos clenched his jaw, put the phone on the nightstand and stared at the ceiling. He didn't want to doubt Sara but there surely was something going on from Noah's perspective and he wasn't too happy to hear about it. The phone buzzed again, waking Sara up because the sound was amplified by the wooden nightstand.

"Hm, what was that." Carlos remained silent and Sara chuckled. He was asleep. She let her eyes adjust to the darkness and then looked around for her phone. When she saw it on Carlos' nightstand, she leaned over, only then to find out that Carlos was not asleep. "Why didn't you answer me?" She confusedly asked, still hanging over Carlos. "I asked you what that sound was."

"It was your phone," Carlos said, taking the phone from the nightstand and giving it to Sara. She rolled back on her back and watched how Carlos turned on his side, his back facing her. She put her phone on the nightstand on her side of the bed and frowned. What was up with Carlos?

"What is wrong Carlos?" She asked, placing her hand on his shoulder. What could have possibly happened in the time she had been asleep? "Carlos?" But Carlos didn't answer. He had his eyes tightly shut and didn't say a word. Sara rolled onto her back and reached out for her phone, unlocking it and looking at the messages.

"What the hell?" She sat up straight and read the message again. What was he thinking to send her that? "Carlos?" She asked but there was still no answer. "Fine, then just drown in your own self-pity." She annoyedly said and got out of bed and walked into the bathroom which she locked. A tear rolled down her cheek and she took a deep breath before dialling the number.

"Sara, hi, did you see my message?" Sara huffed.

"Of course I have seen your message, why do you think I am calling?"

"Great, then when are you coming home?"

"I am going home, in Paris, in a couple of days. Now Noah, what the hell was your message. That isn't like you."

"Yes, it is."

"No it isn't, it was a message I would get a while back when we were still married. Not now we have no relationship anymore whatsoever." She hissed. She didn't want to bother Carlos with anything she was saying. Little did she know, that this was just giving away wrong signals to Carlos. She was being secretive about who she was calling and what she was saying. His best guess was that it was Noah and that she was pissed because he had so recklessly sent her the message, blowing their secret affair cover.

"Now you listen very closely Noah, I don't want to see you any time soon, if ever. I should have not accepted your help when Anthoine had just died because that was foolish of me. But I don't want to hear from you in a while, you got that?" Noah tried to go against it, but Sara was furious and didn't want to hear any of it. "Goodbye Noah." With quite a loud bang, Sara put her phone on the side of the sink and stormed back into the room, flicking on the light and standing on Carlos' side of the bed with her hands on her hips.

"What?" Carlos asked, his jaws still tightly clenched together.

"Look at me." Carlos opened his eyes and looked at her. "Are you a toddler or something?" Carlos huffed.

"Maybe I am." He said and he closed his eyes again.

"Unbelievable, sit up straight and look at me!" She yelled, tears burning in her eyes. "I don't mind that you look at my phone, I have nothing to hide." There she hit a string and Carlos shot up, eyes shooting fire.

"Nothing to hide." He sarcastically laughed. "Certainly didn't seem like nothing to hide." Sara sharply inhaled.

"Are you accusing me of cheating on you with Noah?" Tears started to brim behind her eyes and Sara was having a hard time keeping herself in control. "Are you really accusing me of that?" Carlos had to do his best to keep angry, he wasn't going to let Sara play him by playing the sad girl. "You know what, never mind." She whispered and she walked back to the bathroom. It was one in the morning, it wasn't like she had anywhere to go. So she slid down on the floor and cried.

"Sara?" There was a knock on the door. "Can I come in?" The attitude Carlos had a moment ago, changed into a more gentle one.

"I think we need to talk?"

"Go away Carlos, I am pretty sure that I do not want to talk to you right now." Carlos ignored it and walked into the bathroom. "I should have bloody locked it." Carlos sat down beside Sara.

"What did the text mean?" Sara shook her head. She wasn't about to explain that easily. She wasn't going to let Carlos get away with it. "Sara, I apologise for my behaviour but you do have to understand how it looks."

"I know. That is why I immediately called Noah. If I would have been able to see him right now, I would have killed him. I don't know what he got in that stupid head of his."

"So you didn't?" Sara shook her head. She hadn't hooked up with Noah behind Carlos' back. "Well shit." Carlos looked at his hands. "I'm sorry for assuming it. I don't know what was up with me."

"Neither do I." They remained in silence.

"Honestly, I do know what was up with me." Carlos shook his head. "Honestly, it has been bugging me for a while. Well, since I met Noah, to be honest. I've never dated someone who has been married for years before dating me."

"I understand. I didn't want to get into a relationship right away again because I was afraid I couldn't stand on my own two feet again. I've always been scared to lose people. Well, not always but since Juliette. I'd never experienced loss or anything alike before her." Sara teared up. "It frightened me so much when Juliette left, I started getting so anxious to lose people. I've been such a people pleaser and marrying Noah was my assurance for him not to leave. When we divorced, we never lost contact, meaning I didn't fully lose him." She wiped away the tears. "I hate fights because when I get angry-" She shook her head. "I make people leave."

"I am not leaving."

"Promise me." Sara looked at him, tears still brimming her eyes. "Promise to never leave me just like that. If you ever, be honest to me why. I can't have it to have someone else leave me just like that without telling me why."

"I promise, Sara. Come to Mexico with me, please. I will be by your side all of the time. I won't leave you alone."