Redemption (L.S)

29

"It started when I was 15. I was with my friends at the time, at one of their houses." He started. They were sat outside on the porch at Louis' flat, drinking iced tea.

"I thought we were just going to hang out, watch a few films and play board games. Then one of them pulled out this box. It didn't take long for me to realise it was a box of cigarettes. He offered it to us, and I was the only one to refuse it. Well, at first until they started mocking me and telling me that I wasn't cool enough. That got to me and I took it. I smoked for the first time that day. I got high of course, and my parents were furious."

Louis listened on as he continued. "I got
grounded for a week. However, I continued to smoke after that. It felt good the first time and I couldn't resist it, I just kept smoking. At times where there was an exam or test, I would smoke to ease my mind. It was then that I wasn't just doing it for fun anymore, but to stop feeling stressed."

"What about alcohol?" Louis asked. He was curious as to how he was also lead to drinking.

"I was also influenced by my friends. All my fucked up messes started with them. I know I should've known better, and that I shouldn't have been friends with people like that. To think about it now, I blame myself. I am allowed to make my own choices and make my own decisions, but I chose the wrong ones and I will never forgive myself for them. I should've been the bigger person that day and just left. I should have left, not caring at all what they said. I should've made the right choice that day. I can't go back though and I know that. The damages have already been done and I can't recover them." He accepted.

Louis processed his words for a moment and thought about how it would've been if he did leave that day; If he didn't go through all of that. Would they have still met? would they be together even if none of that happened?

Louis thought long and hard about it until he was brought back to by the call of his name.

"Sorry, umm. Was just thinking." He admitted, slightly blushing.

"About?" Harry questioned.

"Just about like...what if none of that had happened? would we still have met and been together?" Louis asked with curiosity.

Harry pursed his lips and moved his eyes away from Louis', as he thought. Louis waited nervously for an answer and was growing slightly impatient.

"I don't know." He finally answered.

"You don't know?"

"I mean...well, no. I say this because you never know. You don't know if we would've met. I don't know if we would've met. I guess, to officially answer the question - maybe if fate wanted us together like we're today- then I guess there is a possibility." He answered, truthfully.

Louis felt satisfied with the answer and smiled softly. "That's good. I would've loved to have met you then."

"Same." Harry was quick to reply, with a returning smile.

Louis then frowned.

"What?" Harry questioned as he noticed Louis' sudden change in expression.

"What about other things you haven't explained? like you lying about why you moved here, or that day at the park where you and Gemma just left with no explanation, or that day when you went to jail and the officer said something about the first one? or that guy you fought at that party." Louis rambled.

Harry's face fell for a moment before he answered. "When I dated for the first time, I was with this boy during high school. We dated for a year until..."

"Until what?" Louis asked.

"Until one day I made the stupid decision to go to a few dealer lads. It was my first deal. The problem was, that I didn't have the money to give them. My boyfriend at the time, Charlie, was suspicious of where I was going that day and followed me. It all just happened so fast. The guy wasn't too happy and pulled out a gun." That caused Louis to widen his eyes and gape in shock. He knew where this was going.

"I tried to stop him when I noticed Charlie, but it was too late." He hesitated and gulped as he said, "Charlie was shot. He didn't make it, he was killed trying to save me."

Louis then processed that answer as well and thought, maybe he probably shouldn't have brought it up. He knew that when he noticed Harry looking down with a hard frown.

"I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have a-"

"It's fine." He said, but Louis knew deep down that wasn't true.

"You wanted to know everything, and I am going to tell you everything." He demanded.

"But you don't have to-"

"But I want to."

Louis sighed in defeat. "Okay."

"The reason I lied about why I moved here is because I didn't want you to know I was going to therapy. I told Gemma to keep me going to therapy, a secret from my friends. Even though she doesn't get involved with them, still. They have no idea about my years in rehab, and I always made an excuse as to why I had to leave for a year or 2." He explained.

"You still didn't answer exactly why you lied though." Louis said.

"I didn't want you or anyone to know because, to be honest, I like my privacy. If I had told anyone the exact reason, they would've told someone else, and word would be around. Everyone would think all things of me. I didn't want that. So we left when we realised that we were late for my appointment, and I didn't want you to know. We spent a month of not seeing you after that because Gemma wanted me to focus on my therapy sessions." He finally answered fully.

"That's understandable I guess. I also like my privacy." Louis replied, and Harry nodded.

"As for the guy at the party, he was an old friend. One of the guys from that day. We never got along after high school and I stopped being friends with him and the others. I figured it was for the best. The Friends I have now aren't so bad. They're completely different from my previous friends. Some of them do smoke though, but don't pressure others, nor me. We all respect each other in general." He finished.

"Please tell me that's it and there isn't anymore?" Louis begged.

"I think so? If I didn't tell you why all my relationships failed and you're the only one to go on this far, it's because of me. They failed because of me. Because they gave up on trying." He frowned.

Louis thought about those people who didn't stay for him and have faith in him that he could get better.

"They just didn't have faith that you would get better. They didn't have hope." He tells him.

"Yeah...and you're the only one who did. Thank you." He smiled. They leaned forward and kissed each other softly.

"Do you want more iced tea?" Louis offered.

Harry shook his head. "No thanks, I just want to spend the rest of the day with you." He said, making Louis blush a deep red.

"Wanna watch a marathon of, "Friends?"  Louis suggested.

"Sounds great!" Harry agreed, and they made their way back inside.

Hope you liked this chapter! one more chapter left and it's the end😭