New Beginnings (Marvel/Mlb crossover)

15

Those few simple words made me completely blank. All I ever wanted from one of them was for them to admit that I was right. I didn't care if I got my friends back, I just wanted one of them to believe me. But now that one of them did, what should I do?

I zone out, re-treating into my little safe bubble. I rap my arms around me and just stare down at the table. I hear my name, but it sounds distant and wrong. Who would be calling me, who would care about me?

I sink deeper into the bubble, going into nothingness. This normally happens when I experience an overload of emotions or if I want it to; normally the second one. After what seemed like only a few seconds I go back to reality, and look around me. Tony has his hand on my shoulder, and everyone looks worried.

I mutter, "sorry." and look over at Tony with pleading eyes. "I think I should check you out and we can spend the day together. Or you can just relax. Let's just get you out of here." I nod, grabbing my bag, and standing up. I mutter a goodbye to everyone, and lean into Tony as he walks with his arm around me.

We get to the car, and he opens up the door for me. I get in, and stare out the window, watching out it as if nothing happened. Halfway home, he says, "Mind telling me what happened? Was it the same thing that happened when I first met you?"

I nod and say, "in Paris, whenever there was an akuma attack, or I had a dream or flashback from one, I found a way to shut down. At first I could control it, but after a while whenever I was being hurt, like kicked or hit or something by someone else, I just naturally went into that state and came out awhile later and then assessed the damage."

I pause for a second, thinking, then continue. "Then I realized that whenever I felt uncomfortable or nervous or mad or sad or just anything negative, it happened. And when I first met you, I was extremely nervous. I mean, who wouldn't be. It just became a natural response to my body. And when Alya said that she should have listened to me, it was like betrayal. And it hurt more than whenever she beat me up after school cause Lila said that I hurt her."

I shake my head slightly and look out the front window, avoiding Tony's eyes which I know are on me. "Eyes on the road." I mutter, and he instantly turns his head. "Well," he starts, obviously blocking the emotion in his voice.

"I am so sorry that these things have happened to you. You don't deserve any of it. You are so strong. I'm sorry that that is your body's way of dealing with high stress situations. Bet it doesn't help living with a super hero." I chuckle a little at the irony and he stops talking for a second and says, "what?" Like an idiot.

I look at him and say, "you know, for you being the smartest man in the world, you sure are dumb. I thought you would have figured it out by now. I am perfectly fine in high stress situations. I can handle them better than anyone else. Even you. The actual situation doesn't send me into that awful, perfect little state, it is the memories of it, or the pain. And I know that I am doing it, and how easily I can snap out of it, even though I don't want to. I know how to control my emotions better than anyone else. It takes a huge amount of negative emotions to send me into that, or a huge amount of shock. Or if I just want to be away, in my own little corner of this world that no one else can get into."

He gives me a questionable look and asks, "what do I not know that I should? That you are keeping from me?" I roll my eyes and say, "okay. You can't tell anyone, ever. If you do I am out of your life like that." I snap my fingers and he nods. "Have you realized that even in those few hours around those kids that none of them are as traumatized as me about Paris? How when they think of it they get all mushy and gooey and bleh?" He shakes his head up and down and I continue.

"Tony, you watched several videos of Ladybug. You studied her, learned from her, and tried to figure out who she was and where she went. In those videos you saw how in some of them, she was so hurt that she was almost dead. How in them she was filled with despair and pain and suffering. How as she walked through the burning streets filled with dead bodies she was the only one left, and yet she always won. You have one guess on how she would act in her civilian form when she had a chance to feel all of that, and not have to be strong. Where she could be weak."

"She would be traumatized." Tony whispers, looking at me. He pulls into the garage and turns his full attention towards me after turning off the car. I give a slight nod, and say, "Tony, I am the traumatized girl. I am the one who disappeared from Paris. I am the one they adored. Tony, I am Ladybug."

His eyes suddenly turn huge and they look like they are going to pop out. He gasps, and he looks like he wants to reach out and touch me, but as if he doesn't want to at the same time. Like I'm fragile. Like I'll break if he touches me. I clear my throat and say in an emotionless, flat tone, "I am not weak, or fragile. I have had way more stress than living with you." I get out of the car and head upstairs, wanting to lock myself into my room.

Right as I am about to close the door, a hand stops it, and I open it again to see a furious Tony. I back away from him, scared about what he is going to do. He takes a few steps closer, and I end up stopping in the middle of the floor. He comes up to me, and I prepare myself for anything. He suddenly leans down and hugs me. I was prepared for anything but that.

He says in an angry voice, "why didn't you tell me? I care about you so much. You need to tell me these things." I relax and hug him back, and say, "it was too dangerous. Now you are put in a new kind of danger that you didn't even know about. And if you tell anyone then I disappear. For good. Including all traces of me. I love you too much to do that to you Tony."

He hugs me tighter and says, "I love you too."