Never Again

10.

TW: Mention of Abuse and Sexual Assault.

ʀ ɪ ʟ ᴇ ʏ

Sometimes death is a blessing it brings closure for all the problems people may have in life or it's a ticket to get away from people. An escape. Every day I would wonder when is it my time to go? Or even maybe I should just make it short me and just do it myself. I honestly always and still want death to come to me as fast as it can. I know no one can heal me or save me I'm stuck and I can't get out.

It's like drowning, someone holding your head down. You fight and fight until you run out of oxygen in your lungs and you give up. Then you float your lifeless body floating in the water as the person who drowned you, have won. You tried and tried but you were done and tired. No one was able to save you not your family, friends, boyfriend / girlfriend. No one because they don't know what to do to save you.

Everyone thinks about death some cry, don't care, or even they get excited since it's a ticket out from problems. For me it was the excitement I didn't have to worry anymore. I stopped fighting for life, my future, the ones that care for me, the one who's love me. I let them down now I have to deal with them pain and watch them suffer it.

***

It's dark my surroundings. Looking at the bottom of my feet sits water looking at my arms, my body full of bruises. Tears well up my eyes looking up seeing a light taking a step towards the sound echos along the dark. Starting to pick up my pace seeing my reflection through the water I cry more seeing my left eye swollen and bruised, bruises along my forehead and cheek, and a busted lip.

Making to the light a women stands there her back facing me. Her long black hair to her shoulders, wearing a white dress, her arms wrapped around her small frame.

"Riley." The women whispers removing her hand around herself touching the water. With that she turns around with a grin on her face, her dimples popping out, her blue eyes shine with every time she blinks. Momma.

"Momma." I whisper. "Momma!" I jump into her arms hearing her chuckles she holds me tight. Sobs escaping her mouth I pull away she holds my face in her hands with a smiles on my face she kisses my cheek.

"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I left you but I was tired Riley. I was so tired. I was with you every second watching you cry yourself to sleep, not eating, laying in bed all day. It broke my heart Riley watching you give up on yourself." She sniffles sobs escaping her mouth.

"I missed you. You were the only one that was there for me." I sob wiping the tears away.

"I missed you to cariño." She chuckles wrapping her arms around me I wrapping my arms around her we sob in each other's arms not breaking.
(Dear)

"M-momma who's my father?" Breaking the silence she pulls away from the hug holding onto my shoulders.

She chuckles. "What do you mean cariño? Christopher is your father."

"H-he said he wasn't." I take a step away from her.

"I promise you he is." She assures me with a grin I nod.

"But why would he lie? Do you know what he did to me?" My voice gets louder she shakes her head no.

"Mom he would beat me. Once you died it all started. He would beat me is I went downstairs to get food, or even make a noise, h-he would rape me." I whisper the last part shaking my head I put my hand on my heart.