Like A Brother

15

Louis POV:

I wake up with my heart racing and a thick coat of sweat covering my entire body. It takes me a second to even remember that I'm in the hospital. I don't know what time it is but I just had some terrifying nightmare. It was about my mum, it was the night she died but instead of me being at home like I was when it happened, I was driving the car, she was next to me and I drove us straight into a giant truck. Then the car flipped and I kept calling her name and trying to help her but I couldn't get to her.

I had been having dreams like this ever since Chris started telling me that it was my fault that she died but the dreams stopped once Harry came home. It's been like a month, why am I having this dream now?

I fell asleep last night at some point when Harry was getting painkillers from Collin. Speaking of painkillers, my ribs hurt like hell.

Tears flood my eyes as my nightmare keeps repeating in my head over and over again. Was it actually my fault? It couldn't be, right? I wasn't even there but why would I be having these dreams if it wasn't my fault? It has to be some kind of guilty conscious right?

I really don't even know what actually happened the night she died besides that it was in a car accident. All the police officer told me was that she had passed and Chris refused tell me anything about it. Anytime I would ask about it he would beat me, so I eventually learned to not even ask.

Soon I am nearly sobbing. I miss my mum, so so so so much. And I can't even begin to cope with the fact that she will never come back. Never be able to give me a hug and say everything is all right.

I cover my mouth, not wanting to wake up Harry with my loud sobs. He's asleep on the bed, holding me protectively.

But the movement causes Harry to stir awake. I try to pretend I'm asleep but my muffled sounds of sadness give me away immediately.

"Lou baby?" He starts, still not fully awake.

I don't respond, which just seems to make him snap into some kind of worried state.

"What's wrong baby? Are you okay? What happened, is it your ribs? Your lungs?" He asks, frantically.

I slowly flip onto my back on the bed and stare at the ceiling, my vision blurry with tears.

"Nothing. I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you." I tell him.

"No Louis, don't be silly, what happened?" He asks still worried.

I press my lips together, trying to stop crying as I avoid Harry's eyes.

"Just a dream. About my mom." I say, so quiet I nearly don't even hear myself.

"Oh baby." Harry says on an exhale, empathetically.

He pulls me up into his lap, cradling me like a baby as I cry into his chest.

"I miss her Harry." I say.

"I know you do love, she misses you too." He says confidently.

I don't know what kinda afterlife I believe in but whatever one that I can be with my mom is the one I want to believe in.

"Do you think so?" I say.

"I know so. She's somewhere out there watching over you, insanely proud of you." He tells me, rocking me gently in his arms.

I hope that that is true.