You can't force love

Chapter 17 - ... and kept forever

For a few minutes after Auruo left, Petra and Levi looked at each other. It was an exchange of their deepest feelings through their eyes. Every hidden feeling was on a display for the other to see and for them to show without worry or fear.

They looked at each other calmly and somehow solemnly, but not for it to be shattered ultimately, but to stay forever in their hearts.

The first one who spoke was Levi, feeling the responsibility and an immense remorse. Because there was a loved woman in front of him, almost broken because of him.

In the past, he didn't want to accept an outcome like this. Because he never knew a love so strong to be felt by a woman for him. Rare and weird, distinctive one he had never known.

And he made so many mistakes.

He lied and hurt, all with good intentions as he ressured himself. But it was wrong and selfish. Because he had never tried to look at things from Petra's perspective. It was always only his point of view and his perception of things.

He never wanted to show love, because he was terrified for a long time. But not anymore.

"I'm sorry," he said, carefully getting on his knees in front of her. So they were on the same level, looking into each other's eyes.

"... Are you?" Petra asked quietly, questioningly and hopefully.

Even though her love was still strong, even though she wanted more than anything to hug the man in front of her, who was finally opening his whole heart to her, she knew she must be fair to herself first.

She had to know why. She had to be certain. She had to hear it with her own ears.

Because guessing and knowing deep in her heart was one, even though it is the truth. And hearing it herself, now, when Levi was there, was the other thing.

On her question, Levi closed his eyes for a brief moment and clenched his jaw, trying to fight against the quilt that threatened to twist all his words.

"I was a fool... and cruel," Levi started, looking at Petra who waited and listened.

"It is not an excuse. I was selfish for seeing only what I wanted to see. I thought you were better off without me. And I wanted... to make you let go of your love for me."

"... I noticed," Petra said quietly.

Levi swallowed, but continued. "It was stupid and I was a coward. I don't have the right to be with you at all. I hurt you way too much. And I'm sorry... for your love to end like this."

"It didn't", Petra spoke softly, yet sharply. Though that sharpness was not out of spite or anger, but determination.

"Petra... you've never done anything wr-"

"You're wrong," she cut him off and looked down.

"I also believed in you, but acted weird and controversial sometimes," she said, the way Levi spoke harsh, yet truthful, things about himself making her ashamed to the point of wanting to ease him even a small bit. Though she never had an intention to spread her words any further from that, because she knew he was the one to blame the most, as much as it was difficult.

"It was normal after everything I put you through. Don't feel guilty about it. I was the one who manipulated and who should be accused for breaking your heart. You did nothing wrong," Levi said and he meant it, every single one that he spoke and didn't speak.

"..."

"... Do you think... you would be able to forgive me?" Levi asked. "In the future."

Closing her eyes, Petra frowned and thought over everything deeply. Every good and the bad moment went through her memory, questioning her feelings and Levi's words. Linking each behavior of his with every word he had said. How it all made sense and solved everything she was wondering and worrying about.