COntRol

24

⚡COntRol⚡
Chapter 24

[No one's POV]

Some time passes. Ten, twenty, maybe thirty. But however long it took for Kaminari to calm down, Kirishima was there for him, even despite having a wet, tear-soaked shoulder. After having a heart poured out, the two had entered a momentary silence, their ears buzzing with the eerie soundless space. Kaminari is heavily breathing, his cheeks red but also dry from having his sleeves repeatedly rub the trails off his face.

Yet despite having released all his burdens and problems, he still felt... trapped.

He felt like there was still that one lock that stopped him from taking a new and deep breath of fresh air. That one door that kept him separated from everyone else. And just like a block in a drain pipe, the problems kept collecting, once again resuming to fill his mind. Even if he explodes from not being strong enough to hold together, he will still fail to see his self-worth, or get a grip on his quirk, or be able to get the help that he needed. He blames his arrogance, for not just sucking it up and going to a teacher, tell them about his mental issues and how Miss H was abusing him.

He knew that block and those problems were because of his feelings for Kirishima.

"So," Kirishima starts, picking each word carefully, "Are you feeling any better?"

In honesty, it had given him a moment to let everything go, but at that moment, he felt no better than he did four months ago, including the past weeks of torture and abuse that he found himself dying a little more for. A part of him was suffering, but the other just wanted to turn off. End it all. He saw little point in continuing if it was just to suffer in silence.

Nonetheless, he didn't want to tell Kirishima that his efforts were in vain. So, instead, he attempts to smile, letting his body to loosely lean into him. He did, after all, feel gratitude for the amount of care Kirishima gave him.

"Yes," he whispers softly, and the sound made Kirishima's heart jump. Yet, despite the answer, the latter somewhat knew Kaminari was lying - with nearly-black rings circling his eyes and a shattered smile, he was far from feeling better.

"Can you tell me what's bothering you?"

The truth that he'd been forced to endure for the past two months resurfaces again, this time a bitter reminder that he still had to keep hiding from Kirishima. It sends another wave of emotion, and he feels another spurt of tears glaze over his eyes.

"I-I can't."

The sound of his broken voice had hurt Kirishima, yet still he pursues for some kind of progress - he knew neither of them were remotely ready for another fight.

"C... Can you tell me how you're feeling?"

All Kirishima could see was the silent and passive thought Kaminari undertook whilst slouched against his side, a larger pause ticking away the sluggish seconds.

"I d-don't... know," he says, with a voice so small that it urged Kirishima to be even more gentle with him, as he would with a substance more fragile than glass.

"Can you tell me what you can about what you're feeling?"

It took a few minutes of silence after that before Kirishima realised: Kaminari wasn't thinking about what he was feeling - he was debating over whether he should answer honestly or not. Of course he wouldn't just tell him! Both of them were still being monitored by Aizawa, not to mention that Kirishima is supposed to report all his findings back to him!

"Everything you say will stay here. I will never tell Aizawa, I promise."

Kaminari knew he meant it. He always did, and his heart of gold had always strived to be genuine and pure to others. It was one of the million reasons why Kaminari loves him. Besides, it only felt right to tell him. Kirishima had been trying so hard to get any bits of information he could, so it was only right if he at least gives an answer to his question.