COntRol

25

WARNING:
THIS CHAPTER WILL CONTAIN EXPLICIT GRAPHICAL CONTENT/TRAUMA

⚡COntRol⚡
Chapter 25

[Kaminari's POV]

I slowly stir into consciousness, joints aching and bruises throbbing with a flaming pain. In the dreary daze that I was in, I had no energy to groan or even make a sound. But I knew that it was morning, the sunlight peaking through my curtains.

I then realise that it wasn't morning, the sky being too blue and the temperature being too warm.

I then realise I was alone.

From the night before, I knew I would be waking up alone with Kirishima gone, the warmth taken with him. I'd wake up cold and without purpose, longing for something I will never have. He isn't mine. He never was. He still belongs to Bakugo.

And I feel sorry for Bakugo.

I can't blame him if he hates me. He probably does. But all I've ever done is gotten in the way of his relationship with Kirishima, and all because of my own selfish desires. And I know how much Kirishima loves him.

I can't do that to either of them.

They are perfect for each other. Their personalities match, they both look out for one another, and they're both equally selfless. And they looked so happy around each other - before I got in the way.

Kirishima is not mine, and last night was like another figment of my dreams.

And I wish love didn't feel so good, and I wish love didn't hurt so bad.

My hand blindly swings backwards, to the place where I'd left my phone in charging for the night. I pull it towards me, just as I struggle to turn myself around, and my chest suddenly grows too heavy when I see the empty space beside me.

Guess I have to get used to that.

I was quite shocked, to say the least, when the time was 1 o'clock, even more so when a pop-up notification displayed two messages from Kirishima. Temptation had eventually gotten the better of me, and I took yet another bite from the forbidden fruit.

Hey Kami! You were basically passed out in the morning, so I decided not to wake you up. Don't worry, I'll still get the morning lesson's notes for you! I told Aizawa that you're either going to be late or not in, but all I told him was that you struggled to get to sleep. Nothing else - I stand by what I said! Rest up and hope you get better!

~ Sent 8:21am

Hey Kami! I take it that you're probably still asleep if you haven't seen this. Don't worry about coming to school, I've gotten everything you need. Besides, it's mostly just revision and lectures, so you really aren't missing out much! See you later!

~Sent 12:34am

I set my phone back down and turn around again, curling into myself. I want to cry, but have no power to do it. I want to explode, but have no spark to detonate with. I want things to get better, but it never does.

I want to disappear, but I don't think my heart will let me.