Chapter 11

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Kenma wasn't living his best life out there, but it was surely better than how it was a few weeks ago.

He wrote to Kuroo once or twice a week at most in the first month... but as time passed, they talked every day. (they even did good mornings and good nights). Kenma's guilt feeling was fading away slowly. He now desperately wanted to know who his soulmate was.

Since some rules were binding the diary, they couldn't tell each other their real names. Kuroo suggested calling Kenma "Ken" because he told him that his initials were "K", but Kenma denied saying he didn't want to be called by that name ever. So Kuroo started calling him "Kou". He gave Kenma the freedom to choose whatever name he wanted for Kuroo so he chose "Roo".

"Roo, as in that little kangaroo in Winnie the Pooh?", Kuroo asked

"Yes. I think it suits you", Kenma wrote back.

It was prohibited to give obvious details about oneself in that diary. Even if they wrote, it'd just disappear and nothing would happen.

All they knew about each other was:

[A/N - I know those songs weren't even released back then, but please roll with it besties

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[A/N - I know those songs weren't even released back then, but please roll with it besties. Also, I'll be using their nicknames now whenever they talk in the diary so as to avoid any confusion.]

One fine day, (well, as fine as any other to be honest), Kuroo decided to ask about the details on why he didn't write the first day he got the diary. He was confident that now they're close enough to know a little bit more about their personal lives. They were almost best friends. ("almost" because Kou made it clear that he doesn't do this best friend business).

They mostly talked at night, before going to bed, after finishing their homework. So Kuroo patiently waited till it got dark, and then he wrote.

Date: 25th October
Time: 11:25 PM

Roo: Hey kit-kat..!!

Kou: DON'T CALL ME THAT..!!

Roo: you know I'll not listen.

Kou: how was your day??

Roo: great, how was yours??

Kou: same as usual.

Roo: hey uh, I wanted to ask you something.

Kou: shoot

Roo: we're friends now, right?

Kou: I guess there's no harm in saying so.

Roo: So as a friend, imma ask you something... and please reply if you can.

Kou: uh okay.

Roo: Why exactly didn't you write the first day you got your diary? And why did you choose to write on a random day after so many months?

Kuro saw his text going green, and then red, and waited for the reply. 5 minutes passed by. 10 minutes. 30 minutes. 45. 1 hour. No reply. He felt the boundaries between them thickening again. 

"There sure must be a huge reason behind that. Why did I have to remind him of his past? Oh god, I'm a terrible person. What have I done..!!", he cursed himself.

Time: 1:00 AM

Kuroo couldn't sleep thinking about what he has done. Just when he was about to turn away and cave himself into his blanket, he noticed that the diary was faintly glowing.

Kou: I used to love a boy.

There it was. The thing he was most scared of. He hated the fact that he was being the reason someone had to leave their loved ones, and he was afraid that he'll never get the love he deserved.

Roo: oh I'm sorry for bringing it up. You don't need to answer. It's okay.

Kou: No no, it's fine. I haven't talked about it to anyone yet. Not in detail at least.

Roo: so, do you wanna talk about it now??

Kou: Yeah, I guess.

Kenma wrote everything. Without leaving even a single bit. He told him how they planned on writing in their diaries on the same day, which was his ex's birthday, and how it was a terrible idea. He didn't mention his ex's name. It still didn't come easy to him

It was the first time in 3-4 months that he was recollecting that day to its last point. Kuroo could tell from those texts that Kenma was having a huge breakdown over there. The handwriting was shabby, and the choice of words was almost bad and hasty.

"I shouldn't have brought it up", this is all Kuroo kept thinking to himself all along.

Kou: and after that, we haven't talked yet. It's not like I don't want to, but I'm so scared. I don't know what to do. I was the one to block him... maybe I still love him, or whatever... he'll always have a special place in my life. After all, he was the first person my cold self ever fell for...

Roo: I'm sorry Kou, I shouldn't have asked. And I feel terrible for being the reason for your breakup. Isn't there anything you can do? We can always be friends you know, go get your man..!!

Kenma stiffened at the response. "How can he be so calm, and suggest me to go with someone else even after knowing that I'm supposed to be his soulmate??!!", he was confused. "Is he stupid or what?". And then he laughed at how the other guy said "go get your man"

Kou: you know that isn't how this shit works. No matter how much "I go get my man", we'll break up eventually, may it be intentionally or naturally. You're the one I'm destined with, and I kinda hate you for that... But you do make a good friend. Thanks for listening.

Roo: thanks for willing to share.

Kou: I don't talk much to anyone. You make me talk. It's tiring, writing so much.

Roo: we cannot exchange numbers here.

Kou: yeah, bummer.

Roo: but write to me whenever you want to, I'll try to answer ASAP. I wish there was some notification sound setting in this diary.

Kou: I know right! But it sort of shines.

It wasn't even 10 minutes ago that Kenma was crying remembering that day again, and he was almost smiling again. He felt good. "Maybe this is how teenage works," he thought to himself.

Kuroo was sure that he made his soulmate smile after a breakdown, and that made him happy. He realized how much he hated when Kou was down, and this feeling was tricky.

They kept talking until Kuroo couldn't hold his eyes open and he dozed off unintentionally.

__________
[Word Count - 1056]

A/N - it took me forever to come up with those nicknames. While I can suggest you with a million pet and plant names, I'm super bad with human names. That too, finding the ones according to their personality was sooooo hard. 

anyway, I know these names aren't any good either (*cries*), but lemme tell you, they're so much better than all the others that I came up with... lol. 

Don't forget to voottee ❤

Take care of yourself ✨
water your plants if you have any, sing songs to them. 

See you soon 🦋

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