A T A R A X I A~ Sirius, Remus & Regulus Black (not together. Separately)

𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝒯𝓌𝑒𝓃𝓉𝓎- 𝒯𝓇𝓊𝓉𝒽 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝑜𝓊𝓉

TW- MATURE CONTENT 😏

Sirius' lips are on mine.
I couldn't believe it.
He's kissing me.
This son of a bitch is kissing me.
After an entire month of ignoring each other because he was such a dick-  he thinks he can-

I push his chest away, breaking the connection of our lips, and look at him in disbelief. He opens his mouth to speak but before he can I cut him off.
"You kissed me," I whisper to myself, "you absolute dickhead!"
"Belle-"
"A. whole. Damn. Month. That's how long you ignored my existence because of my frickin house. Because I'm a snake. And all snakes are evil, right?"
He doesn't speak, only bites the inside of his cheek and looking to the floor in guilt.

"Do I mean nothing to you?!" I yell, a single tear falling down my face, "am I just- just a play-thing? Something you can use- toy around with when you're horny and then throw to the side when you've had enough?" I say, my voice cracking slightly as I spoke.
He doesn't speak.
"Answer me! Speak! Say something!"
"Belle, you were never and nor ever will be a plaything to me."
I scoff, rolling my tongue across the inside of my cheek.
"Then what am I to you?"
"I-"
"No. You know what?! Don't bother answering." I turn on my heel storming off down the hall- away from the lonely boy standing in the corridor.
No matter how loud he yelled my name, I didn't stop walking till I got back to my dorm. I'm so bloody tired but I can't sleep because as soon as I threw open the door to my room a saw the pile of work to be done, sitting lazily at my desk.
I look at the clock- 2:33
Fuck. I'm supposed to be in class right now.
It suddenly became very hot in here. I grab at my neck- loosening my tie and unbuttoning the top button of my shirt.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I study towards my draws next to my desk pulling every single one opens in hopes to find what I needed. Not there. Gone. Gone. Gone.
Sweat beaded against my forehead. I ran over to the other side of my room, throwing all the clothes out of my draws and onto the floor. Gone.
"Where is it? Where is it? Where is it? WHERE IS IT!" I scream throwing my shoes against the walls. My fire whiskey is gone.
Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
But I can't. My throat felt like it was closing up. I didn't realize I was crying till I felt the wetness of my tears drop down my neck.
The room is spinning.
I slid down the wall till I sat on the floor, holding my legs to my chest and mumbling words to myself. I need. I need it. I need-
"Little bird?"
I move my head to the side.
Evan.
"Hey, shhh, it's okay, I'm right here," he says softly, pulling me into his chest, my silent tears soaking his shirt.
We sat in silence for a while 'till my tears quietened down.
"We don't have to talk. But we can if you want to."

I shook my head, with my face remaining in his chest, smoke, and cologne filling my nose. I feel him nodding, and that's how we remain for a while, my silent tears wetting his shirt as he drags a hand down my hair slowly- till Reggie walked in. His eyes widened at the state of my dorm. Clothes, shoes, books, scattered everywhere on the floor- then his eyes landed on me, curled in the corner with Evan patting my head like a dog, his face softens.
I place a kiss on Evan's cheek before I stand slowly, walking towards Regulus and wrapping my arms around his waist as his arms wrap around my shoulders.

"Yeah, just. . . yeah, I'm fine."
Reggie pulls back, cupping my cheeks in his hands, "You can talk to me, you know that or you can talk to Evan, or Sev, or Lucius, we're all here for you, darling," he whispers to me, stroking his thumb across my cheek. I felt a twinge of guilt swirling in the pit of my stomach. They don't know anything about me, the past, and I so badly want to tell them, maybe they could help.

Why don't you? Because I'm scared.

I smile nodding, tears welling in my eyes. These boys may not know all about my past but they are my present, they are my family.