A T A R A X I A~ Sirius, Remus & Regulus Black (not together. Separately)

𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝒯𝓌𝑒𝓃𝓉𝓎 𝑜𝓃𝑒- 𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈 𝓈𝒽𝑒 𝒹𝑜𝑒𝓈 𝓉𝑜 𝓂𝑒

Sirius' POV

There is something wrong with me. Something terribly wrong. I had a thought on what it could be but it's just ridiculous, untrue, there's no possible way.
I've gone to Poppy but all she did was laugh, tell me how silly I was and dismissed me. I've even taken muggle tablets! but nothing calms down the ache on my heart.
So, I'm doing the one thing left to do.

With a shaky breath, I step inside the library- even the thought makes me shiver.
Remus was in his usual spot.
"Moony," I greet him. Remus looks up, doing a double-take as he spots me in front of him.
"W-what? How are you inside the library right now?! Last time you quite literally gagged when I asked you to join me."
"Remus, I need your help. I'm in desperate need of a book- to study."
"Oh, my Merlin. My time has come! Am I dead or did I actually hear you, the Sirius Black, say you're in need of a book? To. Study."
"No," I sigh, "no you heard me correctly, dear moony. I honestly am quite disturbed myself but it was the last option."
Remus chuckles before placing a bookmark into his book and giving me his attention, "so, what do you need?"
"I'm ill."
"you're... ill?"
"Very."
"How so? You look alright, what's wrong, what are your symptoms."
I plop down into the seat across from him, "my heart. It hurts very badly-and the pit of my stomach."
"What else?"
"It happens a lot but mostly when I see her."
"See who?"
"Belle," I grumble, placing my cheek onto my fist.
"Did you do something? To make you feel like this? When did it start?" Moony questions, acting very motherly.
"I kissed her." Remus' mouth fell agape.
"YOU WHAT?!"
"Well, she wouldn't listen to me! And she just kept walking away so I ran up to her and kissed her! And then...."
"Then?"
"Then that's when it started to hurt."
"You're not ill, Sirius, you're heartbroken."
"Huh."
"You are obviously very taken by Belle and I bet she's heartbroken herself from what we did to her and from your kiss and though they haven't really made it public yet, everyone suspects that Regulus and Belle are a couple."

Something cracked deeper inside me. My face must've shown that because Remus quickly tried to speak but I stood from the table."I need a smoke," I mumble before rushing away and towards the astronomy tower. It hurt. All of it. There was a ringing in my ears as I walked at a fast pace- void to anything and everything around me.

Soon, I had made it to the tower, taking a seat on the edge before hurriedly pulling out a box of cigars, popping one in my mouth and flicking the lighter to set it aflame. I moved, leaning my back against the wall, dangling my left leg off the edge. I take a drag, holding it, then letting it go into the brisk air.

"Need some company?" I whip my head around and there she stood, a warm smile on her face as she folded her arms across her chest, rubbing at her skin. Without a word, I turn back to look at the view. Belle takes a seat across from me, folding her legs and looks out across the castle. I sneak a glance at her from the corner of my eye. An angel that fell from the heavens above. My heart begins to beat faster.
"You know, I used to read about Hogwarts, in books- it was fiction, something to enjoy while it lasted. Never in my wildest imagination would I have thought that I would actually attend the school."

"Why would you want to go to school?" I huff a laugh, more smoke passing my lips.
"It was mostly the magic that drew me in. The idea that I could have my own house, watch a game of quidditch, learn how to make potions- oh, and the feasts in the great hall, those sounded drool-worthy."
I smile, "Yeah, the feasts' are pretty damn good."

She holds out her hand and I pass her the cigar. I watch as she brings it up to her plump lips, sucking on it before letting the smoke escape her mouth. My dick twitches.
"You smoke?" I say, breathlessly
"Not anymore- it's a nasty habit."
Chuckling at her and taking back the cigarette.  

We sat in silence for a while. A peaceful, comfortable silence. Until I spoke again.
"I'm sorry, Belle. For everything I've done to you."
She looks to me, chocolate brown on silver-grey, smiling sadly.
"I'm sorry for what we said about you and your house- your friends. And for so many things Belle. I'm a bastard and I am selfish but I am not sorry for kissing you and nor will I ever be ."