All I Want (Capture Series 1)

Twenty-Three

Trigger warning: Suicide. Foul words.

I held onto the strap when I felt the pain around my neck. I couldn't breathe. I felt pain in my eyes. I heard my heart started to beat faster and faster. Then, I heard a knock.

"Oli? Sweetheart, I'm home," I heard my Mommy said.

No... Don't...

I opened my mouth but no sound came out. Every second that passed, it got harder and harder to breathe.

"Kai's here with me. He came home to see you. Can we come in?" she continued knocking.

Padilim nang padilim ang paningin ko hanggang sa kusang pumikit ang mga mata ko. The last thing I heard was a scream.

Bright light. I saw a bright light when I opened my eyes. It hurts my eyes so I closed them again.

"She's awake! Call the doctor!" I heard someone says from beside me.

"Theo..." I uttered.

"Sweetheart, Mommy is here. You're okay," a voice from my mother said.

I tried to open my eyes again and saw doctors and nurses coming inside my room with Millane. Kinurap-kurap ko ang mga mata ko at inikot ang tingin sa buong kwarto. All white. Doctor. Nurses. Walls. Hospital. I was in a hospital. Heat immediately crawled in my head when I saw the person on the other side of me.

"Hey, it's okay," Kai said, trying to calm me down.

"Get... out..." I struggled with speaking but when I gathered all my strength, I shouted. "Get out! Fuck you! May you rot in hell! Get out!"

Pinigilan ako ng mga nurse noong naabot ko si Kai. I tried to push them so I could hurt him more pero masyado silang malakas.

"Why..." naguguluhang tanong ni Kai.

"Walanghiya ka! Napakasama ng ugali mo! Hindi ka na naawa! Get out! I don't want to see you ever again!" patuloy na pagsigaw ko.

I felt a sharp object goes in my skin. Lumingon ako sa doctor na nasa tabi ko at nakita kong may hawak siya na injection. Sinubukan ko pang kumawala sa hawak nila pero onti-onti na akong nanghina hanggang sa dumilim ang paningin ko.

"I don't know what he did. She was so angry when she saw him. For all I know, she was so careful around him because he was suicidal. Now..."

"Where's Theo?"

"He went back to Canada when the engagement got cancelled."

"What? How? I thought they're happy? How about the partnership?"

"Nagback-out ang mga Javier. His parents got angry. Pinamukha nila sa akin na lagi na lang daw sinasaktan ng mga anak ko ang mga anak nila. I had to double my efforts so that the company won't fall apart. Kung alam ko lang na..."

Mabigat ang pakiramdam ko noong sinubukan kong dumilat ulit. Nasa hospital pa rin ako. Lumingon ako sa may kanan ko at nakita roon si Mommy at Kuya Noah. Kuya Noah immediately went up to me when he saw me.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" he asked softly.

"I'll call the doctor," Mommy said then went outside.

When I looked at Kuya, he was pursing his lips, eyes glistening. He slowly brushed my hair with his palm.

"Bakit hindi mo tinawagan si Kuya?" he asked.

Hindi ako sumagot. Tumitig lang ako sa kaniya.

"I will make time for you. You just have to call me. Why did you..." he stopped then wiped his tears.