All I Want (Capture Series 1)

Thirty-Three

Bright light. I saw a bright light when I opened my eyes. It hurts my eyes so I closed them again.

"Oli..." I heard Theo's voice.

"Theo..." I uttered.

I opened my eyes again and saw him. Nakatayo siya sa gilid ko. He leaned closer while caressing my hair and face. His eyes were red. I scanned the room. When it dawned on me where I was, I immediately panicked.

"No. No. Why am I here? I can't be here! Get me out of here! No!" I screamed.

Theo was trying to stop me but I was already pulling the tube that was attached to my hand.

"I can't be here! Not again!"

Doctor and nurses came inside the room. I immediately felt an injection in my arm. Theo pressed my hand. I could see how he covered his eyes while sobbing. I tried to get away from their grasps but my body slowly weakened until my vision got dark again.

I heard sobs. I opened my eyes and saw my bedroom. I was in my condo's bedroom. I was not in the hospital anymore but I still have tube attached in my hand. I looked around then saw Alli and Milli sitting on the floor. They were sleeping. Sa gilid ko, nakita ko ang isang lalaking naka-upo sa upuan habang nakayuko sa may kama ko. He was holding my hand. His shoulders were shaking. I tried to move my hand. Agad siyang umayos nang upo at tumingin sa akin.

"Hey," sabi ni Theo habang pinupunasan ang mukhang puno ng luha. "It's okay. We're at your house. You're safe. We are here."

"What happened?" I asked weakly.

Theo sniffed as he kept on wiping his eyes. "The doctor said you experienced fatigue due to physical and emotional stress. It is still 4 AM, you should sleep more."

"Why..." I immediately stopped then closed my eyes tightly when I remembered what happened. "I'm sorry," I said.

"No. No, don't say that," Theo immediately replied.

Naramdaman ko ang paghawak niya sa mukha ko kaya dumilat ako. I could see his bloodshot eyes upclose. Warm tears started to flood my eyes. I looked away. I couldn't look at him.

"You did nothing wrong. You don't have to say sorry. I should be the one saying sorry. I left you, Oli. I let you suffer all of those alone. I should've stayed longer. I am sorry." Theo started sobbing again.

Para na namang dinudurog ang puso ko dahil sa naririnig ko. His every sniff was an extra crack on my heart. His every sob was a crack to my soul. I couldn't do this.

"Please, stop. Leave me, please," I sobbed.

"No, Oli! I will not leave you again," he replied.

"Please, please, please," I repeated.

Dahan-dahan siyang lumayo sa akin. He shook his head slowly.

"H-Hindi kita maintindihan..." he said. "Is it that hard to see me? Oli, I am really sorry for leaving you. Babawi ako. Please, g-give me a chance to take care of you."

"I don't want you to take care of me!" I yelled. "Hindi ko kailangan ng tulong mo, ng kahit na sino!"

Nakita ko ang gulat na pag-upo nang maayos nila Alli at Milli. They looked at us back and forth. Theo pursed his lips then slowly walked closer to me again. He gently held my hand.

"Oli, please rest. You need to rest," he said softly.

Binawi ko ang kamay ko. "Ayos lang ako! Ano bang ginagawa niyo rito? Tulog lang naman kailangan ko diba? Bakit niyo ko binabantayan? Get out!"

"Oli, calm down," Alli said while walking towards me. Sumunod naman si Milli.

"Alli, please," I begged. "Please. Go home. Please. Milli, may trabaho ka diba? Theo, ikaw? Your work? Corrin? May girlfriend ka baka nakakalimutan mo?"