chapter thirty seven

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A/n: this ones kind of just a fluffy filler
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His hands were on your thighs again, and you almost caved.

"Please, Y/n, I'm more than happy to help you out..."

"Anakin— I can't," you hung your head, cheeks burning in shame.

You wanted to— god, you wanted to. Your panties were absolutely soaking, sticking to your flesh uncomfortably, a stubborn throb in the center of your legs demanding attention. It screamed at you, preening at even the simplest drag of Anakin's thumbs along the edge of your thigh, only exciting you more.

But the thought of him touching you... seeing you... doing any of that to you...

The heavy probe of his gaze on your face was too much. You scrambled out of his lap, standing by the side of the bed and stretching.

Your arousal screamed at you louder, pissed for denying it any pleasure in return for what you had just done with Anakin, but your flighty nerves and stubborn bashfulness won that argument, per usual. It always did.

Anakin was looking at you all concerned, wondering what he had done to make you push him away so fast.

"It's not you," you tugged his hand towards you, swinging it slightly to try and get that look off of his face. "I just... it's just that... I uhm..."

He squinted his eyes, trying to decipher where you were going.

How were you supposed to tell him?

Admitting that you had never kissed anyone before— fine. It was a little difficult and embarrassing, but he didn't seem to mind. And then telling him you'd never given head before... a little more embarrassing, seeing as how that was much more complicated to learn, but it also turned out fine.

But admitting that no one had ever touched you before? Never even seen you? Much less tried to get you off, a much much more complicated and personal prospect, like Anakin was begging to do for you so desperately right now?

Earth-shatteringly humiliating. You could not do it. Not right now. Nope.

He could not know that you were completely inexperienced in every way possible. Even if your dumb brain knew it would probably be okay, that he accepted every other one of your flaws up to now, and this would be no different. He loved you, unconditionally.

But maybe it was a you-thing that held you back. Like, maybe the shields were coming back up on instinct, not ready to let him see you fully vulnerable yet. Not until you were comfortable with yourself first, at least.

Thankfully, a quiet rasp on the door saved you from the difficult conversation, and both of your heads snapped to the door.

"Y/n, the driver's here," Obi-Wan informed you from the other side. You blanched, completely forgetting you'd promised to keep him company while he checked out the markets today.

"Anakin, you should come, too."

The two of you locked eyes. Dread.

"I won't question it, just hurry up," you could practically hear Obi-Wan rolling his eyes, and then his footsteps disappeared down the hallway.

As soon as he was gone, Anakin fell backward onto the bed, groaning dramatically. "Well, that didn't stay secret for very long."

"What happened to 'I'll just say I got confused?'"

He mumbled something you couldn't understand, the words muffled by the arm he'd thrown over his face.

"Come on," you poked him. "Go find your room and get dressed, we gotta go."

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