Starve This Sin

{ Chapter Twenty Three }

Litha and Lammas came to pass, the sharing of sacred bread not lost on the people of the kingdom. The sun blazed on until it began to face it's rest. Days were shorter, the sky grasping darker sunsets against the trees. Winter blew her first breaths through the leaves.

Mabon was only a few days away, the coven going into hiding for their deep preparations in ritual. The camp always felt smaller in the weeks outlying holidays because of that.

Eva sat on a thick log beside a crackling fire, the sun rising brighter, rays giving a weak attempt to brighten her skin.

Beside her was Caleen and Loralei, two warrior women who had come to stand with the camp. They stirred a pot of oats as Eva gripped a navy shawl to her shoulders. Each morning felt a bit colder, trees turning over in wonderous amber and crimson.

Eva had been here for about two months now. Her arrival had originally been nothing but distressing, violent and it was quickly decided by the coven that Eva's powers had to be subdued to maintain her cooperation.

The present coven members, who had been requested at the Queen's will, placed a spell on Eva that locked down her powers. It was eventually decided to take those wondering powers and syphon them into a willing crystal until Eva could be trusted.

She felt useless, a prisoner with people she assumed friends, family. It felt as deep as her betrayal with Ben had been from the start. Her own father had aided in her travel, returning to her sisters once all was settled here.

Despite her incessant screams of not being pregnant, of it's impossibility, all agreed they would continue the Queen's plans until she changed her mind or Eva so proved to not be with child.

But as her monthly timer went off in her head nothing came. Eva had huffed after a week of waiting, exhausted, knowing her cycle was often thrown by any extreme uses of her power. Not to mention completely leaving her physical body for days on end before her last cycle. Even the toad shells could cause her issue. Things were bound to be uneven, confused, and of course she wouldn't bleed to spite her.

Her worry for Ben only grew deeper each day. What was Solanyn having him do? What were they changing in the kingdom? Had King Kye sought war and pain yet for his people? Or brought hell upon them at home? No one could answer her questions.

So, she sat. She wove, she hunted, she farmed, becoming useful around the camp. She was no stranger to a tougher, more hands on way to life. But every bone in her could only grieve for the responsibilities, the power, being taken away from her.

Ben's crystal still clung to her each day. After her altercations with her own powers, she feared the coven's decision to take Ben's crystal from her. With mangled reverie, Eva carved a space into the side of her ribs and sewed it in beneath her skin. It was barely a bump, but the glow of it was noticeable if she was nude. It was the best she could think to do, to keep it on her person but untracable for anyone else to find. It seemed a bit drastic later on but Eva was so pained with all the claws ripping away at every piece of her, she couldn't stand to fathom losing that of all things. She would not fail another way.

Mentally, all she could do was promise to one day find an out. One day she would escape, powers restored, and rush to his side. Tactics be damned, she could make it on her own.

She couldn't let him win, soulless and empty. She couldn't just settle for the life Ben forced her into, again. She would find a way to become herself, as she always did.

Her mind often found it's way lingering around the first few weeks with him, the way he looked to her with such eager anticipation. How it changed so vastly before her as she left him. Then, the peace lingering in his lips in her bedroom. The way his body gravitated to hers at the dining table around her family.