Juliet and Juliet [GLT 1]

Chapter 27

#JAJ027

"Anak mo?", fear crossed her face.

Nang makita ko kung paanong nag-iba ang mukha niya ay parang gusto ko nalang ding lamunin ng lupa papalayo. Kung alam ko lang na umuwi siya, sana hindi nalang ako tumuloy.

This isn't doing me any better.

But I'd be lying if I'd say that I'm not happy to see her. I am more than happy to see her. At kahit sa tagal ng panahong hindi ko siya nakita, my feelings remained the same. But it's not valid anymore. It's been 8 long years. And I have already regained myself after everything that happened.

Okay na ako. Okay na ako sa buhay ko at ng anak ko.

So I nodded as a response.

Tumitig muna ito saakin bago ngumiti. At ilang taon ko man siyang hindi nakasama, I can certainly distinguish her genuine smile and that was just not it. Ibig bang sabihin.. hindi. No. I don't want to assume things.

She probably has a husband now. Look at her. She's grown into this flourishing woman, as she should. Malayong malayo na ang narating niya and I'm genuinely happy for her.

When you think about it, kung siguro itinuloy namin yung relasyon namin noon, hindi niya mararating yung kung anong meron siya ngayon. Because she would've been stuck with me at sa mata ng mga tao, hindi kami tama. The judgments and consequences could've barriered her from reaching her dreams. So I guess, it's just right that we ended up what we had before we saw it coming. Tama lang na hindi ako nagpakita noong araw ng graduation namin.

I was looking for her that day. And when I found her, doon sa labas ng theatro, nakita kong kasama parin niya si Wesley. The painful sight made me realize that I cannot and I will never have her for myself. Dahil maraming tao ang nanonood sa kanya. The expectations were set too high. She was Mareese, after all. The soft-hearted woman who couldn't bare to disappoint.

And so I went home broken and I had no one to celebrate my achievement with. I remember sending my graduation invitation to my mother's address days before. Nanalangin pa man din ako noon na kahit sa araw ng huling graduation ko na lamang siya dumalo kapalit ng ilang pagtatapos, kaarawan, at mga araw na kailangan ko ng aruga ng isang ina. Na kahit sa araw manlang na iyon, ako naman yung unahin niya. I waited for her, but I waited for nothing. Inisip ko nalang na baka natatakot lang siya sa asawa niya kaya hindi siya nakapunta.

I only wanted to feel that someone was actually there to cheer for me. I only wanted to hear her say proud ako sa'yo just like what Papa would've said. Ang gusto ko lang naman ay yakapin niya ako ulit nang maramdaman ko naman na kinikilala niya parin ako bilang anak niya. But I guess, that was too much to ask.

And so I cried at the night of my graduation. Not just because I lost another part of me. But because all I had was myself and the silence that lingered the dullness of the night, all over again.

"This reminds me so much of college years.", sabi ni Felicity habang naglalagay ng inumin sa baso. "I can't believe it was almost 8 years ago."