"I don't want you to fucking apologise. I want the guilt to eat you alive. I want you to drown in your thoughts like I drowned in mine."
~~6 weeks is all it took for him to completely turn your world upside down.
But it wasn't even the right way up...
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Laying on your front with the sheet only covering your lower half, you sighed contently as Tae drew small circles on your back as he laid beside you. It was soothing enough to have you almost falling asleep, but you were protesting against your heavy eyes, urging them to stay open. Not wanting to miss a single second with this man.
"You're on the pill, right sweetheart?" Taehyung whispered, pausing his finger momentarily before continuing as he awaited your answer.
"No." You breathed out, rolling on your back to find him staring down on you.
"Implant then?"
"Actually." You paused for a second, searching his eyes. "Did you not hear Bobby? I thought you heard everything he said."
"Not everything." Tae shook his head. "It was a little muffled but what I did hear made me want to put him in an early grave."
"Right." You nodded, looking down and taking a deep breath in preparation. "I'm not on any contraception. I don't need any."
Taehyung frowned as you spoke. He was on his side resting up with his elbow in the mattress and his face sitting snuggly in the palm of his hand. It almost looked like the typical after sex scene in a movie, as he laid by your side, when you were about to lay it all out on the table.
"My form of contraception is a missing ovary and the one that decided to stay thinking it shouldn't be doing all of the work. So it decided to give up too."
You knew his reason for asking. He had literally just come so deep inside of you in the entrance way of your apartment you were sure you could taste it on your tongue. But when he asked, you could be one thousand percent sure that he would never expect baron to be your form of protection.
"When I was a teenager." You continued as he listened intently. "I had large cysts on my right ovary. So large that it couldn't be saved. So I had the surgery, came home and recovered, only to be told on a check up visit a year later that I was no longer ovulating regularly. And that I should seriously consider adoption in the future. Because it will be less heartbreaking than multiple failed attempts at IVF. It's not that I can never have my own children, it's just that my chances are very low."
Taehyung stayed silent after your confession. He didn't know how to respond to you being so open about the issue. It wasn't like this type of subject was an everyday conversation he was having. But one thing he was sure of, was that your strength only made you even more beautiful.
"That's why I have my tattoos." Shuffling down the bed, you let the thin sheet fall exposing the family of butterflies that were wrapped neatly around your hip, tracing across your abdomen before wrapping around your leg and disappearing between your thighs. "They are hiding my scars."
"How do you still smile?" Taehyung whispered, his eyes transfixed on the butterflies as his fingers traced their outlines.
"I'm going to forever say 'I got this' even with tears in my eyes. But I suppose I love my scars. Because they have stayed with me longer than most people have."
