BALI SUN ☀ [✔]

[36] ONE MONTH LATER

Author: It's not wednesday yet in my time zone, but guess what? I don't care^^ It's wednesday somewhere on this world already ;) Also this is another surprise double update to make you all love me even more. Haha, just kidding! Enjoy!

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One month after we came home from Bali, I was a wreck. I had fallen into a deep, dark lovesick hole.

I was working part-time at a fashion store in Hongdae to keep paying the rent. I was actually supposed to be applying for suitable jobs in my studied field but I just couldn't do it. I didn't have the energy, nor the proper motivation. I barely made it out of bed on the days where I had to go to work.

When I didn't have to work, I burried myself in the sheets of my bed with my laptop and watched one sappy K-Drama after the other.

I hadn't even tried to get over Lisa. I knew I couldn't. It was way too early anyway. The feelings were still too fresh. I forced myself to stop texting her one week ago because I thought it would be easier if I had no contact to her anymore. But I was wrong.

I missed her deeply and I never felt so alone before in my life.

Her texts became less and less too when she realized I wasn't texting back anymore. She had tried to call a couple times but I refused to answer. Hearing her voice would probably make me cry instantly.

I didn't want to go out with Jisoo and our college friends on weekends. I didn't even want to eat most days. I only functioned when I absolutely had to.

Jisoo and Rosé were texting a lot. And I heard them talking on the phone about twice a week. At least they tried to make their friendship last! Like they said they would. Friendship was easier than love.

Maybe I should have just stayed friends with Lisa instead of falling in love with her. But I knew that was something I had no control over. It just happened. Sometimes I whished I never kissed her that first night.

"Knock knock." Jisoo tapped my door carefully before entering.

I didn't bother pressing pause on the Drama that was playing on my laptop. I looked up at her, acknowlegding her presence briefly.

"Rosie said Hi." she told me, waving her phone around in her hand. She had obviously just ended a call with the Australian girl.

Sting. Right in my chest. I tried for a little smile but failed miserably.

"Say hi back..." I said emotionless.

"Jendeuk... how much longer do I have to look at this...?" my dark haired friend stated quietly and softly.

"You don't have to look if you don't like it." I answered stubbornly, eyes back on my drama.

I just felt empty. My life felt empty without her in it. I had no interest in the outside world anymore. All I wanted was to lie in my bed and grieve for the fantasy life I had secretly made up in my head. A life with Lisa by my side. Sometimes at night I would wrap my own arms around myself and pretend they were Lisa's. That's how pathetic I was!

Jisoo sat down on the edge of my bed, her hand playing with the hem of my blanket.

"Rosie said she's really miserable too..."

My heart leaped painfully. She was talking about the Thai girl that I was hopelessly in love with.

"Yeah, well... it wasn't me who said that everything is too uncertain right now." I swallowed the lump in my throat. "It wasn't me who wouldn't give us a chance." It was the hard truth.