May we meet again // Amelia Shepherd X reader

One question left

Hey everyone!
TW: breakdown, smut
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"Let's play a game," Amelia said as soon as we entered my hotel room and I gave her a confused look. What are we? five? "3 questions. We can ask whatever we want each other and we have to answer honestly."

I let a loud sigh on the word honestly but still agreed. It was a fair game and I needed to overcome my issues, "Well, then, I should have something to drink."

"Haven't you been drinking every night since we met?" she asked concerned and oh my god I haven't even thought about it but she was right.

"That's the last one, I swear," I mumbled opening the minibar. She rolled her eyes and gave me an 'I hope so' look. I found the little bottle of whiskey and made one sip taking off my shoes. We sat on a bed with legs criss-cross facing each other.

"You suggested, you go first," I said with a smile.

"Okay then," she paused thinking about her question, she raised her eyes on the ceiling and bit her underlip, "when did you know you like girls?"

I chuckled and sighed, "well, I was 14 and I met a girl. She was new in our school class and we became friends pretty fast. One day I realized that I liked her more than a friend. We were little and still searching for who we were in the world so I was scared to tell her that. I talked to Ellen," my heart sank for a second from saying her name, "and she told me it was okay to love girls. So I kissed that girl, it was sloppy but I felt great at that moment. So yeah, after that I was sure girls were my thing."

I gave glances at Amelia while telling her the story and noticed her eyes. She was admiring me and she really listened to what I had to say. That was something I wasn't used to in relationships. I mean, I've never been in a normal one. Usually, I freaked out after some hookups and ran away. Talking about my past was something I've never done before and it was good to know that she was interested in it.

Be still and know that I'm with you
Be still and know that I am here
Be still and know that I'm with you
Be still, be still, and know

"What happened with that girl after?" she asked.

"Uh uh, that a different question, now is my turn," I laughed making another sip and she groaned.

"Fine," she smiled, "shoot."

"So, what's your biggest secret?" I asked and the smile dropped off her face and her eyes quickly lowered, "I'm sorry. You don't have to answer if you don't want to," I mumbled feeling like I did something wrong.

"No, we have rules," she said raising her eyes back on me, "I had a son."

"Had?" I whispered.

"When I was living in LA. He was born with anencephaly, without a brain so he lived for 43 minutes," I saw how nervous she was and how hard it was for her to talk about that, "and I held him," she still tried to smile but tears started to fall down her cheeks and her voice was shaking, "I got to hold him. And then it was time. He was... he donated all of his organs. And then I let him go. And it almost killed me." She barely formed the last sentence, she was crying and I didn't know what to say. I was looking at her and felt pain. And I'm sure it was only a tenth of what she was feeling. I put a bottle on a nightstand and leaned closer to her wrapping my arms around her. She relaxed from my touch and laid her head on my chest sobbing.

When darkness comes upon you
And colors you with fear and shame
Be still and know that I'm with you
And I will say your name