Evil game,
A not so perfect love story,
Filled with betrayal, hate, and guilt.
There is triggering content most of it has warning read with caution though .
Here are some things I need to say before you all read!!
I do not own Mattheo Riddle or...
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This chapter contains mature content ~
It's not so easy to think when you have something kicking you constantly, it's getting very annoying.
I can never get comfortable, I just wanna scream.
So here I am, laying in bed, with a note book in my hands, writing. Sounds fun right, not really.
I had a dream last night, one of those memory dreams. I dreamt about that time on the roof with Lorenzo, I was having a bad day and he found a way to bring me up to the roof to talk.
He brought a note book with him, he wanted me to right my problems; feelings down, I told him he was an idiot and that I didn't wanna do it, and he just laughed, probably because he knew what I was thinking.
I always thought his advice was stupid and naive, but the more I think about it I realize it wasn't stupid nor naive.
I guess that's why I'm laying here, attempting to write down my feelings, only because I can't say them out loud.
This is stupid, how am I even supposed to start?
This doesn't make sense.
Fuck you, fuck you, and fuck you.
Okay stop, it isn't that hard, just focus.
Okay. I feel okay I guess. Besides the fact that I have "it" in my stomach, and I don't want it, and I'm not planning on telling anyone besides the crazy bitch in the next room, who should be dead.
Umm, did I just write Umm out in a fucking note book, Jesus Christ this is pathetic. Why did I even do this? Because of some dream? Why does it even matter? It's not like I care about any of this anyway, I don't care about this thing inside me, I don't care about Katherine, I don't care about me.
I took a minute to breath, realizing how worked up I had been.
I don't wanna be me, is that bad?
I don't wanna carry this thing inside me, I don't wanna go on to live a life, maybe I think to much, and maybe I'm a bit to obsessive, and a bit to crazy but I don't think I wanna be me anymore.
I don't think I wanna be anything anymore, I've been like this for a while but no one ever noticed.
I don't think anyone noticed, maybe Lorenzo did, maybe that's why he's so nice to me, maybe he just feels bad for me, but I don't want anyone to feel bad for me, I don't feel bad for me. I'm just really tired, and it only gets worse, and then it goes away for awhile, but I don't feel normal anymore, I don't know who I am, I don't think I ever have.
