Forty-three

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Just a small chapter that I hope will please you ;)

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I tucked the kids in that night before joining George in the living room.

He was sitting on the sofa, leaned back with his knees spread, a sheet of paper in his hand.

"People claim that the first few months of your marriage is just pure love and happiness." He spoke when he could sense that I entered the room. "They lied."

I sighed.

"I don't feel that much happiness right now." He said, before he turned his head to look at me. "This is my vows..."

He waved them to tell me that he was talking about the paper.

"I was so excited to marry you and it's already just—" he shook his head. "...I should have seen it coming. I shouldn't have—"

"Shouldn't have what?" I asked. "Tell me. Finish your sentence."

He shrugged.

"You've obviously got too many issues to function in a relationship."

I walked closer to the sofa, placing myself at the armrest to look at him.

"Yeah well you already knew that going into it, and you still married me when you could've backed out."

"I was trying to... I thought I could—"

"What?" I laughed. "Fix me?"

"Would you let me speak?" He asked through gritted teeth. "Sit down."

I walked over to sit down in the armchair, pulling my legs up.

"I thought I could help you and be the right kind of support." He said. "I thought that was what you needed, but you won't take anyone's help and I don't see why."

I looked down as I started biting my nails again.

"I want couples counseling."

I immediately looked at him, completely pausing.

"You don't get it." I breathed, letting my hand drop. "I know you try and act like you do, but you don't."

"Then explain it to me, Dia!" He raised his voice and sat up straight, placing the sheet of paper on the table. "Explain to me what it is that I don't understand."

"I've known him since I was just a girl! I gave my life to him! I married him and I had kids with him because I loved him! I can't just cut him out of my life like that."

"You did with your mum."

"That was different."

"How?"

"Because I was actually happy in his company!" I raised my voice. "I was in love and I know Malcolm isn't perfect but he really is trying to change for the sake of Elsie and Leah."

George rolled his eyes as he stood up.

"And you have no right being mad at me!" I continued. "I want them to be able to have a relationship with their father. You don't know how much it would break them if I told them they couldn't see him."

I watched as George walked into the kitchen to get something to drink.

"But I know why you're asking me to do it." I said. "And I really appreciate you trying to look out for me..."

"The whole point isn't just you accepting the way he is." He said. "It's that you still come running whenever he calls, even if you and I are supposed to be watching a film or doing something else together... he's always first and I'm second."

"I'm sorry if I've made you feel like you're less important." I said. "I promise you, you're not. You and the kids are all the most important thing in my life... I'm just trying to help Malcolm because I want the girls to have a stable dad."

George didn't answer. He poured whiskey in a glass and took a sip of it.

"And I'm sorry, but you need to realise that I'm not gonna cut him out of my life. I need to be able to communicate with him for the sake of Elsie and Leah."

George nodded.

"I understand."

"And if they grow up and they decide that they don't want him in their life, I will do everything to help them cut him off."

He inhaled sharply but nodded again, taking another sip of the whiskey.

"Though..." I let out a sigh. "I'll tell him to get sober before he gets to have them spend the night again."

I stood up and walked into the kitchen to where he stood. I leaned against the counter, my eyes focused on his face.

"I think couples counselling seems like a good idea." I said. "We need to learn to talk instead of just shouting at each other."

A small smile spread across his face but he tried to hide it with the glass.

"That's what you get for putting an Aries and a Sagittarius together."

I laughed and rolled my eyes while shoving him in the arm.

"Shut up about that zodiac shit." I smiled. "You've just read that one book."

George shrugged.

"I've ordered another one."

I raised my eyebrows.

"Of course you have."

He put his glass down and turned to me while opening his arms. Automatically, I wrapped my arms around him and felt his close around my shoulders while I closed my eyes and rested my head against his chest.

"I'm sorry I got to angry." He said and kissed my hair as he swayed us gently from side to side.

"I'm sorry I made you feel unwanted." I whispered. "You know I didn't mean to do that, right?"

George hummed in response.

"Oh, and I'm sorry that I didn't tell you that Malcolm showed up at the wedding." I said. "Also, you were right about my dad. I'm sorry I didn't tell you that either."

His grip tightened around me.

"Don't apologise for that. You don't have to talk about your childhood unless you feel comfortable doing so." He said. "Have you talked about it in therapy?"

"No." I muttered. "I dunno... I've never said it out loud. It's not like he actually did anything. He just..."

I sighed.

"We don't have to talk about it."

"Okay." I breathed. "Thank you."

I tilted my head back a little to look up at him. He rested his forehead against mine and pressed a soft kiss to my lips while I closed my eyes.

"I love you so much." I whispered. "I hope you know that."

I heard him chuckle.

"I love you too."

We kept standing like that for a while, my head against his chest and our arms wrapped around each other.

After fighting all day, it felt good to just get to hug him after making up.

I hated fighting with him and we did it quite often, so maybe couples counselling could help.

We just needed to learn to not shout at each other and always assume the worst.

That was a thing we were terrible at.

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