i miss you, i'm sorry → timothée chalamet.

OO2. → the aftermath

༊*·˚ CHAPTER TWO *ೃ༄

the aftermath

second week of june 2021  ( one month after ) - haley

TW // ED

at first, haley felt fine. life went on, she was happy and even felt relieved, thinking that what she did was for the best. sure, she may have gotten into a fight with her friends, and sure, she may have broken up with timothée, the second boyfriend she ever had and probably the first that actually loved her. but it was alright.

at least, that was what she told herself. later on, she learned the hard way that regret was painful. the worst thing about it was, you couldn't take it back.

if i had a chance to do-over the past month and a half, thought haley, i would take it, and i probably wouldn't be in this mess anymore. alas, the world has no do over button, my dear children. no, no. in this world, you're left to deal with the consequences of your actions.

and deal with them she did.

the weight of haley's decisions finally came crashing down upon her after around a month and a half, though she had been feeling like something was off for a while already. that morning, she woke up without timothée beside her, and when reality sunk in, felt like crying. her throat was sore and constricted, like it was closing up a little more every second. her eyes were puffy too, which she expected thanks to nights of tossing and turning without getting any sleep but it was worse than she thought.

still, she managed to pull herself together and made her way downstairs. griffin leneghan, her brother, lived with her but that was only when he wasn't travelling for press junkets or filming movies. that month, finn was in sweden, since he wanted to be there for the premiere of his boyfriend's netflix show.

usually, haley would message her sensibles friends for help. they were way better at boy advice than she would ever be, since she'd only dated two guys in her 23 years of living. however, the last time she was at bella's house (where their whole friend group lived together part-time for reasons i don't remember), cole had a little argument with haley. which was fine, of course, one would even say that it was about time since their friendship was a bit too perfect. but she really wished that they made up quickly because she could really have used his help in those weeks when they weren't talking.

sadly, as in most cases, her ego won and she ended up not asking for help. surprise.

she contemplated messaging sam or ricky, her colleagues from the hospital she worked at part time, but she barely practiced anymore.

after spending the whole morning conflicted over what to do, haley managed to shoot a text to timothée.

hey. could we talk?

he answered almost immediately, saying that he needed space.

i think i need some space right now, if that's okay?

even if she was dying to apologize, of course haley would give him space. she figured that was fair, considering that she was the one who broke up with him, though she hoped that he'd give her another chance.

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as she tried to ignore the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, haley forced herself to get out of the house and drove through in-n-out for dinner, which ended up to be two milkshakes and nothing else. it was a bad decision, she realized. later that night, as she cried herself to sleep, haley thought about how everything still was normal last october and how she wished to go back.

the following days, she couldn't sleep or get out of bed. when she did, it was to eat, but she would end up regurgitating out of guilt. though haley got over her middle school bulimia a few years ago, but ended up falling back into old habits with no one to suck her out of the rabbit hole she tumbled into. 

author's note! 
sorry if this is really confusing bc i'm gonna be including flashbacks n all but
i added dates on top so it'll hopefully make sense :)) don't forget
to vote & comment & add this to ur reading lists lol
++ edited 10.19.21.