The New Guy

Chapter 9

Gerard's POV

It was monday again, and i was going to avoid my brother and frank as much as i could so i didn't have to face them. I specifically did not want mikey to find out because i don't want to worry him but Frank on the other hand... My drunk self seems to be really clingy to him.

Everything is just confusing, i don't tend to drink that much on school nights but i still drink and i know i shouldn't but i do.

It was half way through the first lesson, and i already wanted to put multiple kids heads through the window which i caught myself staring out of again at a little Australian Shepherd skittering around in the grass, running back and forth towards it owner and away again, jumping up into the air trying to catch butterflies.

It made me all fuzzy inside when i saw the owner, and someone else kissing in the middle of the field. Maybe if i wasn't so cold then that could be me and someone else but no... I have to be this way.

I sighed and walked over to the window, pulling the blinds down slightly earning groans from my students.

"The sun was in my eyes." Was all i dead before i sat back down. Luckily the bell rang and i sighed, sitting back in my chair as everyone walked out.

I gathered my things, walking to the staffroom before changing my mind once i opened the door and saw Frank and Mikey talking to eachother. I turned around swiftly and asked back up to my classroom and locked the door, sitting at my desk and sighing.

Why do i have to be like this ? Why do i have to not trust anyone and be a fucking asshole.

I grunted, shoving my pen pots off my desk and instantly regretting it. I stood up, walking around my desk and picking them up, hitting my head on the way up, knocking me back to my knees.

I groaned, wrapping my hands over the back of my head and scooted backwards and stood up, rubbing it before sitting down and rubbing my head abit more.

"That really fucking hurt." I groaned as i sipped my coffee and there was a knock on the door.

I stood up and walked over, unlocking it and opening it. "Yes ?" I looked down and saw Frank. I immediately went to shut the door but he stuck his foot in the way, forcing the door open.

"Gerard let me talk to you."

"There's nothing to talk about, what happened over the weekend means nothing to me and it shouldn't to you. I don't need your help, so just back the fuck up and leave me alone." I snapped and he furrowed his brows, looking hurt.

"Well if that's how you feel..." He whispered before turning away and walking solemnly down the corridor, not looking back.

I felt a pang of guilt in my heart, as i watched him. His head bowed slightly, and his hands hanging numbly at his sides.

I wanted to run after him and apologise and hug him until he felt better but my legs didn't move. I didn't want to hug him and make him feel better, but i did at the same time.

I was at war with myself.