Given and Denied

Chapter 19.

I flickered my eyes open.
I was not at home.
I wasn't anywhere that was familiar to me and for a moment I was quite scared.

What had happened to me?
And where was I?

There was a loud beeping noise coming from one side of my head and somehow I now realised that I was in fact lying in a bed. It felt comfortable and warm and safe, but was also sterile and too clean and too white. I could hear far off unfamiliar voices and noises. In fact, as I started to awaken fully, these noises were becoming steadily louder and more intrusive, penetrating frustratingly into my brain.  I didn't want, nor needed to hear them, but here they were. Louder and louder as things were being moved about on rattling, metal trolleys and inaudible chatter made no sense to me whatsoever.  I just had a feeling of wanting absolute  peace and quiet but was being grossly denied this and that frustrated me, in my woozy, disoriented state.
I was now very aware that my head also hurt.
It was the feeling of the most intense hangover over ever and as I started to awaken some more I realised that my stomach really hurt also, as if my guts had been forcibly ripped out and stuffed back in again, but in the wrong order.
Had I been placed in some sort of torture chamber?

I asked myself the question again.
Where was I?

I wanted to say this out loud, but my throat hurt so much and was so incredibly dry that the words wouldn't materialise.

"It's alright...... Oh my god Gwen. Thank goodness you've come round? Whatever were you thinking?". 

A soft familiar voice was speaking quietly from beside me. I recognised it and was pleased to hear it, but I had no idea of the words being spoken.

"Nurse! Nurse!".  It now said, in a lot louder tone now.

I didn't like it. It was far too loud.

"She's come round".   It said, now more quietly as an unfamiliar but gentle hand took my wrist and a small glass tube, which I knew to be a thermometer was placed into my mouth.

"She'll be alright, won't she?".  The familiar voice asked.

"Yes".  The other voice spoke as I looked up at the face dressed in light blue.
"She'll be fine. A bit groggy for a day or two and that's to be expected, but yes she will be okay. Perhaps this will teach her a valuable lesson".

I frowned.
Were they talking about me?
Why did I need to be taught a lesson?
I mean...... What in?
What was she actually going on about?

I turned my head to towards the other figure, whose concerned expression turned into a smile as she looked down at me.

"Wha........".  I tried to speak, but my voice wouldn't work, it was raspy and sore and I felt exhausted.

"She may want to rest now".   The lady in the light blue nurse's uniform said.
"Why don't you grab yourself a coffee. It's been a long night for you as well".

My eyes now began to close. I had no energy left to go anywhere. Just waking up had been hard work, trying to make sense of where I was and who I was with was tiring enough.

"I'll be back soon".  The gentle sounding voice spoke into my ear.

I nodded my head, but my eyes remained closed. Perhaps she'd get the coffee. Save me getting up. I was so thirsty but was just felt exhausted, even though my throat was crying out for a drink, I had no energy to get one. Whoever she was, she was kind.

The images were erratic!
Moving from one blurred thing to another in quick and fast succession with all kinds of flashing coloured lights, accompanied by voices, inaudible loud voices all speaking and yelling at once.
I wanted to stay in the happy place. The place where I felt most comfortable and safe, down here on the ground. But somehow I couldn't get anyone to understand my need and desire to stay exactly where I was as I was now being forced upwards, yanked against my tired and exhausted will, by heavy handed people who continued to shout at me to move forward.