Given and Denied

Chapter 23.

Leading a massive movie star, by the hand into my small, humble and very pokey London flat was an incredibly surreal moment. But Alan Rickman seemed none to worried about the experience. So much so, I was beginning to believe that he'd actually done this sort of thing before. I, certainly hadn't and as he took me into his arms once again and pulled me tighter towards him, I suddenly didn't really care whether he had or not!
I had wasted so much of my time worrying about things and trying to over analyse everything and really, in the cold light of day, it didn't really matter.
Live in the moment, that's what I intended doing, just like that woman in Jose's had said for none of us can ever predict  just how much time we actually have left.

Alan was now, tenderly brushing his soft and sensual lips over my cheek and had also buried a hand deep into the depths of my long hair. He was living in the moment, there was no doubting that, even though I had so much to speak with him about first, I had now decided to just let it all go and forget about everything for now, forget about Silva, Patricia Mae and everyone else. This was my time, my moment and I was jolly well going to enjoy it!

Alan had now pressed his lips gently onto mine and I responded by pressing mine harder towards his. He had now wrapped his arms all the way around my body and held me closer to him, so close that I could actually feel that he was already turned on.
I was a little surprised, but wasn't about to let my naivety or inexperience get in the way. I wanted him and needed him to make love with me, right here and now and we'd never get a better opportunity.

I reached up with my hands towards the back of his neck, expectant and needy, I wanted him to know just how desperately I wanted him and was leaving him in now doubt whatsoever, as I forced him down even closer to my mouth. My hands were now forcefully pulling his head down and suddenly through our passionate kisses I could hear him murmuring.
This was it, I now thought to myself absolutely no going back, so relieving my mouth from his, I began to trace my lips towards his throat, whilst also placing a hand inside his shirt.
I could feel a slightly hairy chest as I followed my lips now onto it and undoing a couple of buttons as I did so. He murmured again, but it sounded much less than a passionate sound and more in protest. I ignored it. Besides, everyone is different, perhaps this was just his way. So I continued, moving my lips down his chest, undoing a couple more buttons as I did so.

"Gwen.......".   I heard his deep throated voice whisper right into my ear, as he continued to hold onto the back of my head.
"Gwen..... We really shouldn't........".

"It's alright".   I soothed, thinking that he was just being an honourable gentleman.
"Everything is okay". 

I continued with my progress of unbuttoning his shirt and travelling my lips downwards. I knew he was turned on, that was obvious, so he wasn't going to stop me , I felt sure of that and anyway, why on earth would he? This is what we've both been waiting for and wanting, for ages now and we weren't about to be disturbed or anything like that.
This was just so perfect.
With my journey down the full length of his torso nearing completion, I now begin to take the full initiative and pull the now loose garment away from him, exposing his chest and belly.
I glanced up and could see that he had his eyes closed with his head held back. He was enjoying what I was doing to him and virgin or not, I seemed to be having the desired affect!

Now it was crunch time.

I began travelling my hands down towards the waistband of his trousers, glancing up momentarily at his face as I did so.
Yes, his eyes were still closed.
I then nervously placed my hands down onto the buckle of his black, leather belt and stared in wonderment at the very obvious bulge that lay behind the material of his trousers. I needed to see more but I was nervous, although excited at the exact same time.
I held my hands still onto the buckle of his belt, looking on in wonder at what lay beneath, just for the very briefest of seconds.
This was it, I now thought as I now very slowly began to undo it.