Given and Denied

Chapter 15.

I gave a deep, inverted sigh as I saw the silver BMW scooting round the corner with its driver smiling broadly at us both from inside
It came to a stop alongside the narrow pavement and somehow it looked huge and very much out of place in this tiniest of streets.

Alan opened the passenger door hurriedly and peered inside at Michael.

"Everything alright?".   He asked him.

"Yes".  I could hear Michael's reply from inside the car,  "When I eventually persuaded her to get out and go to her hotel. She was all for me driving her back here again".

Alan put a hand up onto his forehead and took a deep breath, then he turned to look at me. He seemed concerned, exasperated almost, that Patricia had appeared to have been so very upset about all of this. I hope he wasn't solely blaming me for the way she had reacted to both mine and Jules's  teasing. 
I couldn't help it if I found the whole autograph thing and the fact that the waitress had thought we were all related, so very amusing and it wasn't my fault that she had taken the huff about it all either!
I mean, anyone would find it funny wouldn't they?.
Everyone except Patricia that is.

"Come on, get in".  Alan said, quite gruffly, now opening the cars back door for me.

I gave him another look.
He did appear to be quite angry and I half thought about refusing the lift back. I didn't want it to be just out of a sense of duty on his behalf. I wanted him to want to take me home!
Oh God, I mean..... I just wanted him!

"Getting in?".  He asked, impatiently.

Immediately I lowered myself into the back seat and then presumed that Alan would be getting into the passenger seat in the front beside Michael.
But he didn't.
He closed the passenger door, walked round the front of the car and got in next to me in the back.
My heart flipped.
He was now sat next to me and for the very briefest of moments I felt so very ecstatic. I then however remembered his current mood, concerning Patricia.
Oh God, I suddenly thought. I bet I was now in for the most sternest of all lectures from him. He was going to now tell me how disappointed he was in the way I had laughed and made fun of Patricia in that little coffee shop.
I just knew that he was also going to explain to me that I should have acted accordingly around her and given her the respect she so fully deserves, after all she was and still is a very well renowned actress.

I looked down as I felt Alan's piercing gaze.
I really wish he wouldn't stare at me quite like that.
It was very unnerving.

My fingers started to twist and wrap around one another, getting tighter as I felt the movement of the car starting off. I now had to say something or else it would be too late.
If I really wanted to see Alan again, I had to make it clear to him that I really wanted more than just being someone who was in need of his help and guidance for I  really had the distinct feeling that his patience with me was wearing very thin indeed.

"Look, Um...... I'm really sorry.... About Patricia".   I said quietly, glancing over at the man sat there beside me.

I could see a furrow line forming between his eyes as he then swallowed slowly and deliberately.

"So am I".   He said simply.

Oh God, he really was very angry, especially with me. However, I was expecting him to say more. Heck I was giving him the opportunity to now tear a complete stripe off me.
But he said nothing else and proceeded to turn his face away from me and look out of the window as we passed slowly through the bustling city streets.

My fingers continued to twist.
Why was talking to this man so very difficult for me.  I never had problems speaking with anyone else. I always prided myself in having the ability to hold a conversation with simply anyone. But this man was something else!
He made me doubt absolutely everything about myself, without even saying a single word and I hated that!