Obliterated Beginnings

• 19 •

EVA

A low, prolonged whistle rang out, causing me and Axel to fly apart as we realized we weren't alone in the room anymore. Axel landed on his ass on the floor from how fast he pulled away. He got up quickly, turning to face Alex, providing me a view of his body in profile. I looked away.

Oh my God Axel had just been about to kiss me! And I was going to let him!

I tried to calm my racing heart as I looked anywhere but at Alex, who didn't even seem all that surprised to have walked in on us almost kissing.

Almost kissing! Jesus Christ what had I been thinking?!

"I hate to intterupt your mini make out session or whatever the hell it is y'all were doing, but in case you haven't noticed —what the hell am I saying? Of course you haven't noticed— the suite is packed full with horny teenagers that would be safer acting out porn than playing an 'innocent' game. " he cocked a meaningful brow at Axel. "T or D ring a fucking bell? It was you and Henri's idea. How come y'all are acting surprised and shit? "

Axel massaged his brows. "Oh shit. Yeah, I forgot about that. "

"Of course you did. " he threw a pointed look at me when he said it and I flushed. "Henri is having a hard time containing them all by himself so you might want to come out and get this shit over and done with before an orgy breaks out. "

I couldn't even pretend I didn't know what the word 'orgy' meant. I read a lot of romance books with relatively strong sexual scenes so of course I knew what an orgy was and my eyebrows climbed up on my forehead at the mention of the word.

What was going on out there?

"Uh... " Axel scratched his head, looking thoroughly disoriented. "Yeah. Sure. I'll be out in a sec. "

"Be. " With that one word, Alex threw another strange look at me before he disappeared.

I wanted to die. I didn't want to dissapear or run or hide. I simply wanted to die. Have an arrow launch from a place unknown and pierce my heart there and then. No, death by arrow would be too painful. Maybe just a gradual obliteration where I faded into ashes and out of existence.

That would be preferable. Much more preferable than this thick, unbearable silence between me and Axel.

Who was going to speak first?

What was he going to say?

And would I survive the conversation?

All of a sudden, I was replaying everything he said not ten minutes ago. One by one, the softly spoken words bombarded my thoughts, thoroughly and irrevocably, until there was no escape, until there was nothing else I could think about, but them.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, it's inevitable to not feel when it comes to certain people...

I guess what I'm trying to say is, you make me feel a certain way...

My breaths grew erratic and my stomach clenched. I shifted slightly, wanting to be so far away from him, yet so close at the same time. I couldn't make a solid decision when it came to him and I hated it. I pressed my eyes closed when the feelings suddenly became to much to bear.

But with my eyes closed, my other senses became heightened and as the smell of his cologne suddenly grew pronounced, I knew that he was facing me again.

I pressed my closed eyes tighter, wondering if by the sheer force of will, he would leave. That I would magically find him gone.

I opened my eyes.