Letters To And From

Epilogue: Kade:

6 Months Later...

"How does this sound?" Anth leans over me to show Harry the latest chapter we have just finished. "Be honest." He adds with a laugh.
He is still leaning over me and my arms slide around his waist.
"Oh hey." He gives me a surprised giggle. Adorable.
"Just sort of forgot you were leaning over me?"
He laughs and I play with his neatly trimmed curls.
He moves to put his head in my lap.
"I could never."

I love the freedom we get out here when I come visit Harry. Everyone goes about their own business without giving two queer people a second glance if one's head is in the other's lap.

Anth sold Aristotle's house.. to Harry. Probably for more than what it was worth by my estimates but Anth suspects that Harry wanted to help him out so he lets it slide. And besides Harry is letting Anth stay with him till he finds something else.

I have rejoined Drew at her house. Although things were a little awkward there with Fin for the first month, we talked things out. I apologised profusely, he told me I had nothing to be sorry for. I told him I hoped we could get past this and he said we would. Since then Fin has quickly become pretty much as much of best friend to me as Drew. Things are a little touchy around the subject of Anth still but i told him to take his time, and I'll be okay with whatever he is able to be comfortable with. And he appreciated that.

"This is brilliant!" Harry exclaims, loudly enough that the wait staff in Aristotle's favourite cafe turn and laugh.
Anth and I share a smile.
"I've captured you well? it feels enough like you?" I make sure anyway. Harry smirks at me.

"Kade.. love. You've asked me the same thing after the last two chapters. And what did I tell you?"

I blush. I just really want this to be perfect.. for him and Aristotle.. I look up as I am thinking of him. Rest In Peace. We miss you.

"If something isn't right, you'll tell me." I say recalling his words. Harry smiles.
"Exactly."
"They're a perfectionist, Harry! They're going to ask every time." Anth laughs. I nudge him but shrug because he knows me too well.

Anth turns to me with an impish grin on his face. His big brown eyes flickering quickly between me and Harry. Harry gives him a knowing look and nods. What are these two up to?
Anth takes my hand and he is shaking. I have to scan his face.. he's still smiling. So this is excitement. And more than a few nerves.
You see I also know him too well.

"What's going on?" I ask. He hesitates and then says;
"I got a house!!" He beams and squeezes my hand. then does a little excited.. dance.. maybe I would call it a shimmy more than a dance. Whatever it is.. it was  adorable and I laugh before congratulating him.

But his excitement doesn't subside he is still itching to tell me something. I don't push because I think my mind is adding two and two together before I am letting it and I feel my heart beating faster. And I'm not sure I like it.

Anth is too caught up in his own excitement to notice thankfully. But when he says his next words. "I was wondering if you would want to move in with me?" It's fight or flight. And in typical Kade fashion it's flight. And I'm in a bathroom stall before I know it.

What is my body doing? Why is it freaking out about moving in with Anth? Isn't that something I want? I ask myself but know deep down I'm scared. I know this relationship needs more time than he's giving it.

"Kade?" And he didn't waste time following me. I try to catch my breath and fight the all too close prickling in my eyes.

"You don't have to say yes. It's okay if you're not ready. But I swear we promised not to run from each other." He sounds a little hurt. And a sniffle escapes me. Damn it I'm found out.

"Kade are you crying?" He now sounds concerned. He lightly taps on the door of the stall I'm in.

I realise I have no choice but to open the door and face him. So I do. He looks up at me and immediately rushes over me and cups my face between his huge tanned and warm hands. Part of me relaxes but not all of me.

"What is it Kade? You're going to have to help me out here." He says. Confusion of his beautiful face. He runs a hand through his dark curls as those big brown eyes search me for answers.

"I'm not sure I even understand it. But I'll try." I say as he wipes my eyes. And then he nods.

"Anth I.. to be honest I'm scared." I say.
He looks at me a little puzzled but doesn't push me. "It's a big thing. And our relationship hasn't always been smooth sailing. We've hurt each other time and time again. And I don't think either of us a strong enough as individuals to make something this huge really work.."

I stop because now Anth looks like he's going to cry. He avoids my eyes and he goes to turn away from me. I catch his wrist before he can walk away. And he turns to me.

"That all sounds a little like a reason to break up Kade.. I think you need to tell me if that's what you want." His eyes drop to the floor as he waits.

Oh no Anth.. no! How did we get here what is happening?! Fix this Kade!

"What No?!" I gasp and catch his wrist again, pulling him toward me. "How did.. No. I don't want to break up Anthony. It's actually the opposite of that.. I want to date you. Like properly! And get to a stable place with you before we throw a spanner in the works. Our relationship has always been under some form of pressure.. for once I'd like it to be calm. You know so we can both just enjoy it for once. Have fun. Enjoy each other's company. Does this make any sense?"

His gaze is still on the floor when I finish speaking but I've been watching him take it in and I think he gets it. He looks up at me with a small smile. Yeah he gets it.

"That actually sounds really nice." His voice is barely above a whisper and it's soft and calm kinda like it is some times before he..
he leans forward and kisses me. Yep. I kiss him back. And it's all fingers in hair. Running down necks and exploring each others bodies before we both seem to come to and realise we are in the men's bathroom. He giggles and then I giggle.
"Another time." He says with a small smile.
"Another time."