Dragon Raja

14 - This Place Is For You

Weeks had passed since the incident, where she collapsed unconscious in Johann's arms at the sight of the falling snow.

She had completely forgotten about the winter season. The memory of it never came up in her mind until the day she finally felt the snowflakes gently prickling her skin with its coldness.

Ever since it had snowed, no matter how hard she tried, Y/N could never find the energy to put in her all anymore. Her grades have gotten lower, her training sessions with Johann weren't as productive as usual, and Luminous and Finger got banned from her dormitory for the time being by the dorm head.

The reason? They tried to climb up to her window, to check if she was okay, but to no avail. Not only were they caught and thought to be perverts snooping into girls' windows, but they had also fallen off the building and landed themselves both in disciplinary class with Manstein and the nurse's office.

"I'm just not in the mood," had been her excuse ever since.

Nono wanted to chat? Y/N wasn't in the mood. Caesar wanted to spar? Not in the mood. Luminous and Finger wanted to go to lunch with her? She wasn't hungry. Johann wanted to help?

"I just want to be alone,"

All of her friends had noticed her downward spiral, and Johann had to explain to them that on the evening of the first snow, she broke down. Despite all of their attempts to get her to feel better, they only seemed to suffocate her even more.

During the times she did come out of her room to socialize, it was only for a brief time. As much as they tried to get her to laugh and smile again, Christmas was now just around the corner, after all. But it only lasted a few seconds before her face turned solemn once more.

But Y/N couldn't find it in her heart to tell them they weren't helping at all, much less they were making things worse. She knew they all meant well, but still, even with more tidbits of her past revealed, she was even more frustrated that she couldn't remember everything.

She was tired of waiting around for her memories to come by. When the snow had come, Y/N was able to remember faces, names, even the place she had lived before. But the sinking feeling in her heart when she knew she still had yet to find out what happened to her past friends only dug deeper guilt into her soul.

Whatever it was about the snow, in which it had brought back a half-assed attempt to her regaining her memories, she hated it.

The snow that was too white to be true, falling effortlessly from the sky, she hated it.

It was an off day at the college, so of course, Y/N spent it curled up beneath her covers, glaring out her window.

She hadn't moved since she'd woken up that morning, despite feeling toasty beneath her blankets, she stayed frozen in her spot on her bed.

Though half of her memory still failed her, she half-remembered who Renata was. The girl seemed to hold the most special place in her heart, and yet, Y/N became frustrated knowing that the whole memory wasn't there, and so she couldn't quite tell exactly how special she was.

But she remembered Renata always tugging the blankets off of her when she slept in, she even remembered the name of the boy who she had always seen using Blood Rage.

Anton.

And though the images are still a bit hazy, she could remember the names; Ivan, Khorkina, and Vera.

She still had yet to find out their places in her life, and because of that, she furrowed her brows tighter together. The tormenting feeling of the unknown gnawed at her mind.