Hiding the Green Carnation's Heirs | ✔︎

24

Dedicated to: Venicexxs, _eriellll, angizeal (also special mention to Kyla! Belated happy birthday! Sobrang late na HAHAHA Aug. 16 pa bday mo pero basta 'yon.)

Also dedicated to: raiafic, kayyygirl, idgaf-_-, takennn2, prplmrl and danestny

~*~

"MAMA..."

Napakurap ako bago napatingin sa harapan ko at nakita kong nakatunghay sa akin ang mga anak ko. Curiosity were visible in their eyes and face. Nakaramdam ako ng pagguhit ng sakit sa aking puso habang nakatingin sa kanilang tatlo.

They all look like him. Hindi lang isa, kundi tatlo. He copied and pasted his genes to every one of them.

Buti sana kung sa iisa lang pero hindi e. Gusto ko makalimot pero hindi ko magawa dahil araw-araw nakikita ko pa rin si Lurusus sa kahit saang sulok ng pamamahay namin. Sa kuwarto, sa kusina, sa banyo, sa sala, kahit saan. Nagkalat ang mukha niya at naging triple pa.

"Mama, 'yong apple po namin po," Caius said.

Napasinghap ako bago napatingin sa aking mga kamay at andoon nga ang binabalatan kong mansanas para sa kanila.

Pilit akong napangiti bago tumawa nang mahina. "Oh, sorry. Wait, Mama's going to peel it already," wika ko bago ipinagpatuloy ang pagbabalat sa prutas.

They all pout their lips at me as they watch and wait patiently for their apple. I took a deep breath before focusing on peeling the apple instead of thinking about him and feeling sadness over and over again.

I need to focus on my children. Sa kanila lang, sa kanila lang dapat. I shouldn't think about anything else. I should focus my attention on them and only on them. Two weeks had already passed and I should slowly move on. It's hard but I can definitely do it.

During those two weeks, I've been trying to find myself. After working, I need something to occupy my mind and I at least want to make myself productive. I tried baking cookies with the help of Crystel and it turns out that she's good with baking. I also tried making bracelets before selling them online and so far so good, it's making progress. I get a lot of orders every day and I'm happy with that.

Kahit paano marami akong iniisip kaso hindi maiwasan na minsan-minsan naiisip ko pa rin siya at narito pa rin ang sakit. Kapag nakikita ko 'yong tatlo muling nagiging sariwa 'yong sugat na para bang pinapamukha niya sa akin na kahit anong gawin ko, hindi ako pwedeng makatakas sa kaniya.

Pero kahit na gano'n pinipilit kong maging maayos, na maging masaya kahit unti-unti ng bumibigay ang puso ko. I feel like I'm living, I am smiling from time to time but deep inside I'm an empty soul with a broken heart but I mean, it's okay right? As long as I have my kids with me and they are healthy, happy, and safe. I can't wish for more.

"Mama." Napatingin ako kay Callum bago siya marahang nginitian.

"Yes? Do you need anything? Malapit ko na matapos 'tong binalatan kong apple niyo. Just wait a little more, okay?" I said before looking back at the apple I was holding.

"Mama, why are you sad po? Are you hurt, Mama?"

Nanigas ang buong katawan ko sa sinabi ng anak ko at bahagya akong napatigil sa ginagawa. I gently bite my inner lower lip before pulling up a small smile before looking at Callum.

"Hindi naman, baby. I'm perfectly fine. Mama's fine and I'm not hurt," pagsisinungaling ko sa kanila.

Callum pouted but Calina being Calina was the one who bravely interacted with me.

"E Mama, kasi po hindi ka na jolly e and you look like zombie na po. Nagiging pangit ka na po at saka may big black circles ka po sa ilalim ng mga mata mo. Nag-i-sleep naman po tayo ng maaga 'di ba, Mama?" she said making me bite my tongue.