Gnik Nus

Chapter 15

Secrets. It seemed everybody in this tiny apartment had them, and no one was willing to share. I like to refer to October of 1964 as the month of secrets. Nearly all kept them and nearly all revealed them. Who was this Bobby that Adam dreamed about and why did he insist on sleeping in the kitchen? Why did Jenny disappear some days and not come home for hours? Why did Kylie appear aloof after being alone in a room sometimes? Why did Ben only pay attention to me when he thought I was really upset? It was these questions that kept my mind going all day and all night. Not to mention my own secret regarding my relations with Ben, George and John. Being in a tight-knit household like ours, you would think that nothing was secret. But, as it turns out, a lot of things were.

Brian had secrets too, which almost got revealed on the third Saturday of the month. I woke up in the middle of the night. The kitchen lamp was on and Kylie's bed was empty. I heard what sounded like wrappers and got up to investigate. Kylie was startled when I walked into the kitchen to catch her hoeing into some chocolate.
"It's not what it looks like," Kylie defended, "I couldn't sleep and I was craving it-."
"What it looks like," I interrupted, appearing angry, "Is that you started eating chocolate without me!"
I pulled out a chair and eagerly pinched some of it. There was a certain thrill to a forbidden midnight chocolate snack. We were both busted, however, when we saw Adam standing at the door. He joined us silently without hesitation, and the three of us sat at the kitchen table devouring the treat. We were startled when the front door rattled, as if someone was trying to break in. Adam jumped up and ran to the door, ready to attack whomever it was. The door flew open to reveal not an intruder at all, but Brian. He appeared very disheveled and disoriented, with his shirt untucked and his tie around his forehead. This was a far cry from the Brian with immaculate appearance that we knew.

"Brian?" Adam stated in surprise, "Where have you been? We thought you were in bed!"
"Oh, Adam, is that you?" Brian squinted, "Oh good, I'm in the right house."
"Brian, are you okay?" I rushed over to him.
"Yes, yes, I'm quite alright," he held his hands up in defiance.
"You don't look alright," Kylie observed.
"Yes, well, I'm just a little tired, that's all. I'll be off to bed then."
He started to dramatically march off into the dining room, walking straight into the table. We quickly grabbed his shoulders and guided him to his bedroom, trying to keep him quiet as we passed through the lounge room so as not to wake the others. When there, we tucked him into his bed and he fell asleep almost instantly. This was a side of Brian we had never seen before and we were a bit perplexed and taken aback.

In the morning, we were all up before Brian, which was a rarity. Usually he was one of the first to rise. Unavoidably, he did his shameful shuffle into the kitchen where we were all having breakfast. Everyone stared at our still-clothed and ruffled friend. We were all thinking the same thing - where was the real Brian? This was uncharacteristic of him.
"Wow," Ben remarked, a piece of toast nearly falling out of his mouth.
"You weren't joking," Jenny said, referring to the fact that we had filled them in on what we witnessed last night.
"Morning all," Brian greeted after clearing his throat, obviously attempting to brush over the situation.
"Care to explain?" Peter asked after a silent pause involving all of us staring at him.
"Whatever are you talking about?"
Brian looked very uneasy. I could guess that the situation was quite shameful for him, having us see him like this. He was quite proud.
"Where were you last night?" Adam asked.
"Just out with some... friends, is all," he answered. I started to highly doubt the involvement of so-called 'friends'. With my future knowledge of Brian, I was piecing it together, and I grew to understand his need to cover it up. I, for one, would be happy to drop the subject, as I knew how uncomfortable it was for him.
"Guys, just leave him alone," I said. They all looked at me quizzically but I wasn't going to explain anything further at this moment. I owed it to Brian to allow him to keep a shred of his dignity.