Gnik Nus

Chapter 19

It was a lovely plan. Peter had come up with the idea of getting Brian a Christmas present as a thank-you for everything he has done for us. The only problem was that no one had a clue what to get him. We enlisted Paul's help. He offered to pay for the gift, which was good, as we didn't have any of our own money. We all sat around the dining room table pitching ideas. Brian really wanted to take Jack for a walk, unusually, so the two of them weren't there.
"How about a watch?" Jenny suggested.
"Doesn't he already have one?"
"Yes, he does," Paul confirmed.
"That was a good idea, Jen," Adam said, "Excellent, really. Pity it won't work."
The rest of us looked at him as if unsure if he was being sarcastic or not. I decided he wasn't. We sat in silence for a moment, all desperately thinking of ideas.
"How about we all make a painting?" Ethel suggested and Ben snorted. We all looked at him.
"Sorry," he said, looking down with a smirk. It was about as much as I had heard from him in some time. I knew he talked. Just not much around me.
"How about we find him a girlfriend?" Adam proposed, laughing at his own joke. I caught eyes with Paul from across the table. Yeah, that wasn't going to happen.
"He could do with one," Kylie added.
"Let's just get off this idea, shall we?" I quickly intercepted, holding my hands up.

A moment later, Brian and Jack walked through the front door. We all tried to act like we weren't plotting something. Brian was holding up his watch as he approached us.
"Well, it's buggered. The face has been smashed. I was pushing Jack on the swing and it came undone and landed facedown on the ground. Must've been some hard grass for it to crack this one."
We all gave each other subtle glances of delight.
"What have you lot been up to here?" Brian then asked, realising we were all sitting conspiratorially around the table.
"Just having a chat," Paul told him, staying safe and vague.
"It's lovely to see you all sitting together," he commented, going to the kitchen sink to wash his hands, "So you've made up with Sophie, have you Ben?"
An awkward silence ensued with everyone looking around at each other. Ben and I briefly held eye contact. For a moment I thought he was going to say something as a way of 'making up' but he glanced away. This angered me. He had his chance – he missed it, making the situation more awkward for everyone. When no one answered, Brian loudly coughed and ushered Jack into the living room.

•••

Yeah, I was livid. I was getting more and more annoyed with Ben. First he implied that he didn't care about me by ignoring me. Now he's secretly showing his concern behind my back. He's even resorted to using Adam for his dirty work. If he was that concerned about me, why didn't he just show it to my face? Just now he had a chance to make things right with me, but he passed on it. What infuriated me the most was that he couldn't even show me how much he cared, which was all I wanted. It was becoming more obvious – I thought I had seen something in his eyes in that moment. But he was not budging, and my temper was beginning to flare. I didn't think I could handle any more of his stunts. The day before Christmas Eve was when it all came to a boil.

Normally I would be cheery around Christmas. This time, however, the holiday season had put me in a slump. I was suddenly missing home – my real home, in 2012, and my family. I was also in the first trimester of my unwanted and shock pregnancy, which brought with it a bout of unpleasant morning sickness (which was in fact present at all hours of the day and night). And to top it all off, I was still upset about Ben. This was the time when I needed him most, during my pregnancy, and he wasn't there. The baby could be his after all, and I'm hoping with all my strength that it is. In fact, lately he was doing things to me that with my increased level of hormones I had difficulty dealing with. Not directly, of course – he still wouldn't go near me. But his hair had grown long. When he first got here, it was pretty long and shaggy due to his eighties style (think Bender from The Breakfast Club) but Brian made him cut it. That was the last haircut he had, and his long messy 'do, along with his stubble, was making me feel things. It made me even angrier with him.